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Filename	Size	Description
1-liners1.txt	968	I love deadlines. Especially the whooshing sound they make as they go flying
1-liners2.txt	1601	What is a Yankee?
12days.txt	6386	On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
12th.txt	1419	On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my
1752.txt	3383	Try 'cal 9 1752' on any machine running UNIX operating system. The output
2.5thbase.txt	708	WASHINGTON, DC - Adolescents across the nation were thrilled by the U.S.
4-letter.txt	994	This young couple got married and went on a cruise for their honeymoon. When
50inches.txt	2164	A man with a 50 inch long dick goes to his doctor to complain that he is
abby.txt	4953	DEAR ABBY: A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a
abstain.txt	1440	Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newly-wed
accountant.txt	1331	What's the definition of an accountant?
acronyms.txt	566	MBA = Mediocre But Arrogant
actionfilms.txt	3376	20 things guys learn from action films:
ad.txt	762	Once this woman placed an ad in the local newspaper looking for a suitable
adders.txt	614	OK, so Noah's landed the ark and is letting all the critters go free,
addict.txt	1364	The Top 17 Signs You're Addicted to the Internet
adidas.txt	736	A woman is picked up by a basketball player in a bar. They like each other
ads.txt	1556	Silly quotes from actual consumer product packages and instructions,
affair.txt	892	A married man and his secretary were having a torrid affair. One afternoon
afterlife1.txt	1115	Two lovers interested in spiritualism and reincarnation vowed that if either
afterlife2.txt	779	A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on
age.txt	1185	A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and
age_bit.txt	1285	Sunnyvale, CA. Nubility, Inc. is pleased to announce the availability of
ages.txt	625	The Ages of Woman:
aids.txt	1752	MASTURBATION AIDS:
air_call.txt	5773	Reservations of an Airline Agent (After Surviving 130,000 Calls from the
air_job.txt	1356	A friend of a guy in the Nutrition School at Tufts was one of the lucky
airbag.txt	3216	DETROIT - With third-quarter sales sluggish and its share of the domestic
airline_humor.txt	4350	Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety
airports.txt	1498	What really happens at US airports...
alcohol.txt	4831	SCIENTISTS HAVE DISCOVERED BEER IN SPACE
aliens.txt	2217	How to Spot Aliens at Work
all_same.txt	1178	A Chinese went to a bar to have some drinks. At the counter he sat next to a
ambiguous.txt	2407	AMBIGUOUS ADS FROM NEWSPAPERS
anagrams.txt	911	Dormitory = Dirty Room
analogy.txt	2961	Analogies You Probably Won't Find in Great Literature:
angel.txt	1222	*
angry.txt	700	A woman went to her psychiatrist because she was having severe problems with
animal-game.txt	1477	The following is a table of eight different set of animals. In each box, a
animals.txt	615	There's this kid who lives on a farm. He comes home from school in a really
animation.txt	52992	Keep pressing the space bar and you will see...
annoy1.txt	2629	32 WAYS TO ANNOY
annoy2.txt	4201	Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
answmach.txt	16881	Hi. Now you say something.
ant.txt	2992	The Ant and The Grasshopper
aol_disk.txt	5592	1. Mini cutting board (Great for the office or the car. Use metal door for
aol_hacker.txt	3828	Read Newfpyr's masterful turning of the tables on a hacker...
aolcalls.txt	1658	AOL Timing-Out Messages
aprilf.txt	371	Some versions of UNIX have been found unable to process pseudo-complex
argue.txt	4013	I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on
asian.txt	5128	You know you're Asian if...
ass1.txt	547	An attractive but "ample" woman was setting at a bar when a lounge lizard type
ass2.txt	643	We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where :)
asshair.txt	5127	I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to
assholes1.txt	913	A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children, trying to
assholes2.txt	954	Olaf died in a fire and his body was so badly burned that the morgue needed
astrology.txt	2996	AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
awesome3some.txt	1413	Charlie and Audrey are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
babies.txt	919	I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into
bad-nuns.txt	998	Nuns are admitted to Heaven through a special gate and are expected to make one
bad.txt	5225	I often stand and meditate,
bad_death.txt	2561	Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven. However, St.
bad_luck1.txt	5505	* A fierce gust of wind blew 45-year-old Vittorio Luise's car into a river near
bad_luck2.txt	1435	A man was walking across the road when he met an accident. The impact was on
bad_reso.txt	994	TOP TEN RESOLUTIONS YOU WON'T KEEP
bad_resume.txt	4747	The Perverse Guide To Getting Hired
bad_sex.txt	577	A Woman on her deathbed felt a need to confess to her husband regarding a
bad_slogan.txt	987	The Top 15 Slogans That Never Quite Caught On
bad_xmas.txt	775	T'was The Night Before Christmas
badbee.txt	1841	One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love.
baldeagle.txt	1642	A man is caught by a forest ranger sitting at a makeshift campfire, and, to the
balls1.txt	2794	A little old lady entered the main branch of the Chase Manhattan bank with a
balls2.txt	557	THE NEXT TIME YOU GET PULLED OVER BY THE CHP (California Highway Patrol)
banta.txt	809	There are these three guys, a Surd, an Italian, and a Jewish guy.
baptist.txt	1021	The Top 15 Other Boycotts of the Southern Baptists
bar.txt	2020	Termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
barbie1.txt	753	Ralph was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it's his
barbie2.txt	2381	Barbie's X'mas letter to Santa
barnydie.txt	5842	118 ways Barney should die
barry_2000.txt	5085	Getting the Bugs Out by DAVE BARRY
barry_taxes.txt	953	You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form. The short
barry_women.txt	4371	Just Her Size by DAVE BARRY
barspeak.txt	1735	So occasionally you go to the neighborhood bar or pub and hang out. Did you
baseball.txt	926	Punchlines to Dirty Baseball Jokes (Presented by the San Francisco Giants)
bastard.txt	685	For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this
bathroom1.txt	2470	48 Things To Do In a Public Restroom:
bathroom2.txt	1628	BATHROOM QUOTES
bathroom3.txt	2010	20 Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmate
bay_area.txt	2189	You know you are from the Bay Area when...
be4_after.txt	1534	Before and After You Fall In Love
beatles.txt	2034	Let It Be
bedroomgolf.txt	2593	Rules For Bedroom Golf
beer_jesus.txt	683	Top Ten Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus
beer_woman.txt	1275	25 GOOD REASONS WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN WOMEN
beerhistory.txt	2448	It was the accepted practice in Babylonia 4,000 years ago that for a month
befuddle.txt	9385	BEFUDDLED PC USERS FLOOD HELP LINES, AND NO QUESTION SEEMS TO BE TOO BASIC
benched.txt	4704	My girlfriend always seemed to enjoy seeing just how much she could get away
berkeley1.txt	3484	me: That's a mighty big meal you ordered there, Dan.
berkeley2.txt	2045	How to Cook a Berkeley Student
bestwishes.txt	1758	Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an
bet.txt	557	A deaf-mute walks into a pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty
better.txt	791	Little Johnny and Jane are playing in the garden when they start having an
bible.txt	2227	[The bloopers found below are said to be written by actual students and are
bible_wife.txt	1984	The Top 16 Biblical Ways to Acquire a Wife
bicycle.txt	1578	24 Reasons That Bicycles Are Better Than Your Mate
biggame.txt	961	One day the big animals and the little animals decided to have a football game.
bigquestion.txt	463	The moon shown silver on the waters of the lake, and the waves that were
bikemean.txt	3153	It comes from a column in Bicycling mag entitled "parlez-vous bike? - What
bill_2.txt	4436	The following is a *true* story. It amused the hell out of me while it was
billhill.txt	984	Bill Clinton was walking along the beach when he stumbled upon a Genie's lamp.
biology.txt	847	Mr. Perkins, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girls' junior college,
birdie.txt	831	Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl
bittertruth.txt	2729	The bitter truth...
blackhole.txt	1390	Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole.
blind.txt	1009	A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school's soccer team to an
blond1.txt	2871	Q: What do you call a dead blond in a closet?
blond2.txt	728	A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator,
blond3.txt	835	A blond, a brunette, and a red head all tried out for the same job as road
blond4.txt	608	A blonde and a brunette were watching the 11:00 news. The current news story
blond5.txt	625	There is a brunette, redhead, and a blonde being held captive and they are all
blond6.txt	1209	She was sooooo blonde that...
blond7.txt	588	There are three blonde women stranded on an island.
blood.txt	400	God says to Adam, "I have some good news and some bad news. What do you want
blowjob.txt	499	A man walked into a bar and ordered ten pints of Guinness, which he proceeded
bob.txt	984	A man and his wife were celebrating their 25th wedding anniverasary, and the
bobbit1.txt	1414	The Battle of the Bobbit Hillbillies
bobbit2.txt	754	John Bobbit's Prayer
bodypart.txt	271	Police in New Jersey arrested a man they caught dumping 10 bags of human body
boob.txt	1347	So this guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and his friend's
booklines.txt	1958	The Edward Bulwar Lytton prize is awarded every year to the author of the
bootit.txt	1605	B O O T I T
boss1.txt	1649	Quote from a recent meeting: "We are going to continue having these meetings
boss2.txt	764	A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three
bosstalk.txt	5149	EMPLOYER TALK
bovine.txt	746	A farmer needs a bull to service his cows, but needs to borrow the money. The
brains.txt	677	A man and his wife celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary by staying at the
bran.txt	1642	This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car
bratype.txt	624	A man walks into the woman's section of a department store and tells the
breakup.txt	2486	BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO... especially when you share the same major.
breasts.txt	678	There was this woman with huge breasts who was always being harassed and
breathalyzer1.txt	1562	One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He
breathalyzer2.txt	1123	Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loves to charge around the
bride.txt	7723	INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE
british.txt	2127	DUBIOUS ACHEIVEMENT AWARDS - BRITISH DIVISION
buffalo.txt	1514	Who said you needed a brain to write about science?
bulbsigns.txt	1351	How many members of your sign does it take to change a light bulb?
bulls.txt	794	An American tourist walked in to a traditional restaurant in Spain. When he
bumpers1.txt	20080	-----------------------------------------------------
bumpers2.txt	901	HUMOROUS BUMPER STICKERS
bumpers_xtrm.txt	914	Extreme Bumper Stickers
c+-.txt	2481	Announcing the new language "C+-" (Pronounced "C more or less")
cab.txt	1319	A guy stumbles out of a hotel in Las Vegas. Down to his last few dollars, he
cabby.txt	870	A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter,
cakes_ale.txt	956	Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It
call_mom.txt	588	A young blonde walks into the World Wide Message Center and says, "I would
callin_sick.txt	3452	Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable because no matter how legitimate
camel.txt	979	A young man joins the foreign legion, and is posted deep in the heart of
camelcig.txt	891	Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette.
candybar.txt	1449	It was another PAYDAY and I was tired of MR. GOODBAR. I saw Miss HERSHEY
capitals.txt	664	A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb
car_ass.txt	1468	Justification for Automotive Assassination
car_os.txt	2923	What would driving to the grocery store be like if operating systems ran your
cards.txt	1196	GREETING CARDS UNSUCCESSFULLY MARKETED BY HALLMARK
cars.txt	1250	Canonical List of Automobile Acronyms
cartoon.txt	2611	10 WORST CARTOON CHARACTERS OF ALL TIME
cat_bath.txt	4589	CAT BATHING AS A MARTIAL ART
cat_butter.txt	1928	This question was posed to the Usenet Oracle:
cat_milk.txt	1175	Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her pet cat lying on the ground
cat_rules.txt	2590	Basic Rules for Cats Who Have a House to Run
cat_tree1.txt	1320	There is a small rural town, somewhat northeast to the city of Niagara Falls,
cat_tree2.txt	1346	Problem: A cat is in a tree and it won't come down. Explain briefly how you
caught.txt	1605	WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU ARE CAUGHT LOOKING AT ANOTHER WOMAN
celebrate.txt	894	The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception
ceo.txt	1199	A CEO-type is in the hospital, being treated for a minor problem. For a week
ch_zodiac.txt	8308	(Chinese Love Signs by Neil Somerville)
chain_letters.txt	5138	Okay, okay. I know how much all of you absolutely hate chain letters so here
charms.txt	3351	An amazing new study shows that your favorite Lucky Charms marshmallow bit
cheap.txt	1490	One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God,
cheat.txt	792	There was a guy who was working as a teaching assistant for a large lecture
checks.txt	1714	A very wealthy man, old and desperately ill, summons to his bedside his three
checkup.txt	997	A doctor visits a girls' college to do medical checkup. The first girl comes
chelsea.txt	680	10. Bitchin' motorcade from history class to language lab
chicken1.txt	1121	"Meat & Poultry" magazine, editors quoted from "Feathers," the publication of
chicken2.txt	3613	A while back, someone asked how many generic chickens would fit into a generic
chicken_egg.txt	238	A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
chicken_road.txt	2618	Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road?
childhood.txt	1352	You know you are no longer a kid when...
chinese1.txt	2110	Suc Mi Pagoda
chinese2.txt	1419	CHINESE PHRASE ENGLISH TRANSLATION
chinese3.txt	11308	101+ Ways to Tell if You Are Chinese
chinesePres.txt	591	Top ten reasons why there won't be a Chinese American President any time soon:
chocolate.txt	1274	TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
choke.txt	731	A woman is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a spongebath. One of
church1.txt	1847	15 ACTUAL ANNOUNCEMENTS TAKEN FROM CHURCH BULLETINS
church2.txt	2295	Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: "The
chute.txt	1540	One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New
cia.txt	1532	These three men are going through CIA training, trying to become secret
cinderella.txt	1764	We all know how Cinderella wanted to go to the ball but her wicked stepmother
classes.txt	4796	CLASSES FOR MEN
cleaning.txt	10066	The Domestic Side of Guys
clinton1.txt	1084	Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if
clinton2.txt	1669	Overheard at the White House Super Bowl XXXII party:
clinton3.txt	1503	Police in Washington, D.C. are passing out flyers, warning citizens that a
clintonNixon.txt	1129	Similarities between Nixon and Clinton...
clintontrashing.txt	1140	Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible fight. "I am the
clock.txt	1191	A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day for St. Peter, so upon passing
clothes.txt	3358	We all know that men are not quite as adept at fashion as women. In fact guys
clown.txt	1532	The Top 18 Signs You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party
cobblestones.txt	362	Two Dutch girls are riding their old rickety bikes down the back streets of
cockroach1.txt	796	Cockroach Slain, Husband Badly Hurt
cockroach2.txt	6467	======================================================================
coffee1.txt	7019	In October 1992, the ABU support team in Bellevue sent care packages of
coffee2.txt	2315	WHY COFFEE IS BETTER THAN WOMEN
coffeemantra.txt	626	THE JOY OF COFFEE
coincidence.txt	1574	Described below is not a Joke, but something to ponder upon and wonder whether
cold1.txt	1975	HOW COLD IS IT?
cold2.txt	978	A family of polar bears is walking along at the North Pole, when the baby bear
collection.txt	8297	True Fact: There is a town in Newfoundland, Canada called Dildo. [Population:
college.txt	672	A father scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebeled against his
colors.txt	301	Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother,
comeback.txt	994	B: I know how to please a woman.
comgendr.txt	1128	Top 10 reasons computers are male
coming1.txt	1304	Dec Rourke rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his
coming2.txt	558	As the truck driver came flying over the top of a steep hill, he spotted two
comments.txt	2245	The Best and Worst Comments Received
common.txt	12003	Commonly asked questions... and their answers (?)
communi.txt	1563	Here's the latest news in the world of hi tech business...
comp_sci.txt	748	There are four engineers travelling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a
comp_tag.txt	1409	E Pluribus Modem
compbilly.txt	1575	The Computer Hillbillies
complex_women.txt	1622	WOMEN ARE COMPLEX CREATURES...
comvocab.txt	2622	Improve Your Computer Vocabulary
condom1.txt	1227	Condom Slogans
condom2.txt	1670	This guy is at the supermarket and after picking up a few things he queues in
confucius.txt	4457	Canonical Collection of "CONFUCIUS SAY" Wisdom
conservative.txt	2974	You Might Be a Conservative If...
conspiracy.txt	522	The second attack on Iraq - Explained
constipation.txt	941	PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his
consultant.txt	5263	YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN A CONSULTANT FOR TOO LONG WHEN...
consumer.txt	6544	Selecting a Girlfriend
contraception.txt	2354	Birth Control Jelly - Grape Flavored?
contractor.txt	1236	A tourist walks into a pet shop in Silicon Valley, and is browsing around the
cookie.txt	306	A little girl was getting a haircut from a barber, who gave her a cookie to
copier.txt	398	The boss was standing in front of the paper shredder with a confused look on
core.txt	747	Well, my terminal's locked up, and I ain't got any Mail,
corrupt.txt	1584	My boy Leroy, son of a preacher man.
counting.txt	1341	Two farmers are shooting the shit out in the fields. The first farmer starts
country.txt	2478	THE FUNNIEST LINES IN COUNTRY MUSIC - 1994
cowboy.txt	1453	A cowboy is riding across the plains of the old west, when he is captured by
cowboys.txt	743	Top Ten Good Things About The Dallas Cowboys...
cows1.txt	480	- Two cows were standing in a field. One of them goes: "Mooooooo!"
cows2.txt	6497	(__) (__) (__) (__)
cows_soc.txt	2186	FEUDALISM
crash.txt	1092	A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are
crazy.txt	3014	WOMEN'S GUIDE TO DRIVING MEN CRAZY
creation.txt	4898	In The Beginning...
criminals.txt	2869	THE CRIMINAL MIND AT WORK
cukes.txt	3905	All reasons cucumbers are better than men:
cultist.txt	3406	HOW TO BE A CULTIST
cupholdr.txt	877	Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
curses.txt	886	A 7-year-old and his 4-year-old brother are upstairs in their bedroom. The 7-
custer.txt	944	The curator of a Western art museum commissioned a local artist to paint a
cutdick.txt	9123	If you don't believe this can work... Read the letters after the intructions!
cybersex.txt	6608	REAL LIFE CYBER SEX
czech.txt	1033	Through the center of Czechoslovakia there's a train speeding along. In one
dallas.txt	1137	Dallas
damnation.txt	627	Guy goes to hell and is met by the devil, who explains that the punishments are
darksuck.txt	2792	The Dark Sucker Theory
darwin1.txt	5723	You may recall last year's Darwin Award winner: The man who found out moments
darwin2.txt	3502	Now HERE is a canidate for the Darwin Award.
darwin3.txt	3813	DARWIN AWARD WINNER FOR 1997 ANNOUNCED
dating1.txt	2023	The Heuristic Squelch Dating Guide
dating2.txt	1479	DATING: The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to
dating_app.txt	4352	APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
dead.txt	2039	Dear Employees,
deadbaby.txt	586	A woman was lying in her hospital bed recuperating after an intense 12 hour
deadly.txt	1028	A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho
deaf.txt	1646	There were two deaf mutes standing on a street corner talking to each other
death1.txt	1604	A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a
death2.txt	4229	How Not To Die: The Dumbest Deaths in Recorded History
deathwish.txt	562	3 buddies die in a car crash. They go to heaven to an orientation.
decoy.txt	560	A cop is staking out a bar for drunk drivers. At closing time, he sees a guy
definitions.txt	1425	Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods
defs1.txt	2313	1. Wants & needs (wontz and nedz) n.
defs2.txt	1183	Father : A banker provided by nature.
demo.txt	1824	A software engineer met his end and found himself at the Pearly Gates. The
democracy.txt	2518	What Democracy Means to Me
dentist1.txt	1177	A NAUGHTY LITTLE POEM
dentist2.txt	755	A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really well they
desperation.txt	508	Burford is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real
dhmo.txt	2742	The Invisible Killer
dicka.txt	191	This is the result of a programmer who didn't check his spelling before
dietcoke.txt	1441	16 Reasons Why a Diet Coke is Better Than a Man
diffs.txt	1693	What is a difference between
dilbert.txt	5794	Men who use computers are the new sex symbols of the 90's
dilbert_boss.txt	3745	A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert quotes" contest. They were looking for
disturb.txt	2041	TOP 10 WAYS TO SERIOUSLY DISTURB YOUR OFFICE-MATES
doctor.txt	2828	What the Doctor says
dog_comp.txt	1314	*** Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers ***
dog_tele.txt	1245	It's common practice in England to ring a telephone by signaling extra voltage
dogattack.txt	1014	Two boys are playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a
dogfight.txt	1897	A man walks into a bar one night and sees three jars of money on a shelf on
doglife.txt	1650	ALL I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE... I learned from my dog!
donation.txt	570	A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.
donkey.txt	980	It seems that when God was making the world, he called man over and bestowed
dontsay.txt	4971	THINGS NOT TO SAY WHEN IT'S GETTING STEAMY
doughboy.txt	798	NOTED DOUGH BOY DIES
dr_ruth.txt	391	Dear Dr. Ruth:
dracula.txt	1702	Dracula was killed one day and up he went to the Pearly Gates to meet God. God
drawl.txt	3082	AWL
drinking.txt	1029	The teacher asked all the children to tell a story with a moral to it.
drivers.txt	1533	How to Find the Driver's State
driving.txt	1255	The following test questions from a California remedial driver-training class
drugs.txt	1215	Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in
drugs_software.txt	1394	Subject: Drug Dealers vs. Software Developers
drunk1.txt	889	Dan is in a bar and he has had quite a few already. At two o'clock, last round
drunk2.txt	930	A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer. The following
drunk3.txt	912	A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking
drunkenness.txt	2860	THE FIVE STAGES OF DRUNKENNESS
dt.txt	9518	DEEP THOUGHTS (BY JACK HANDEY)
duhs.txt	1285	Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If
dumb_doc.txt	1679	EMERGENCY ROOM RECEPTIONISTS, AND (WE ARE AFRAID) A DOCTOR OR TWO AT MAJOR
dumb_horse.txt	677	There was this preacher who decided to sell his horse. A prospective buyer was
dumb_pug.txt	4347	Every day, we are assaulted by stories of stupid people - many of whom use
dumbugly.txt	3155	"Good crowd. Good crowd. I'm telling you I could use a good crowd. I'm OK now
dumbunny.txt	5005	While driving along the back roads of a small town, two novice truckers came
dysfunct.txt	713	The Top 9 Indications Your Family May be Dysfunctional
eagles.txt	2047	"Berkeley California"
eatshit.txt	454	One day a man went to see a doctor. He yelled, "Doctor, doctor, you've got to
ebonics1.txt	724	NEW LANGUAGES BEING TAUGHT IN OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA
ebonics2.txt	8994	The Official Ebonics Guide to help whitey translate the negroid-american
ebonics_xmas.txt	2077	An Ebonics Christmas
eel.txt	3135	HOW TO KILL AN EEL (a true story)
egg.txt	317	The Sad Life of an Egg
electron.txt	1625	The Sex Life Of an Electron
elements.txt	1510	In a recent contest, The Washington Post asked readers to dream up new elements
elephant1.txt	4654	HOW TO HUNT ELEPHANTS ---
elephant2.txt	1237	A young boy and his parents went to the Zoo one sunny Saturday. They saw the
ellen.txt	1341	The Top 15 Surprises on the Special Episode of "Ellen"
emacs.txt	2494	Found this in the standard Emacs distribution... Don't ask. I don't know.
email_dick.txt	1096	Top 10 Reasons Why E-Mail is Like a Male Reproductive Organ:
embarassing1.txt	2566	The following are the first three winners of a Most Embarrassing Moment's
embarassing2.txt	1838	In Melbourne, Fl. one of the radio stations paid money ($100-$500) for people
emoti-asses.txt	822	Emote-Asses!
emoti-boobies.txt	801	First, there were :) smiley emoticons.
employee.txt	2852	TECHNIQUES ON BEING AN EFFECTIVE EMPLOYEE
end_all.txt	345	Is this what our lives have ultimately come to?
engineer1.txt	921	Today they're leading a priest, a drunkard and an engineer to the guillotine.
engineer2.txt	558	An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better
engineer3.txt	1146	TOP TEN REASONS TO DATE AN ENGINEER:
engineer4.txt	428	Two engineering students meet on campus one day.
english1.txt	2282	40 Tips for Proper English
english2.txt	2938	The following appeared recently in the Pet Market section of the Anderson SC
english3.txt	4494	The World According to Student Bloopers Richard Lederer St. Paul's School
english4.txt	3299	English is the most widely used language in the history of our planet. One in
engr_dog.txt	1085	A hard-working engineer finally took a vacation. While hiking in the
engr_husband.txt	939	The Top 11 Reasons Engineers Make Better Husbands
engr_recipe.txt	1589	Why Engineers Don't Write Recipe Books
engrtest.txt	4935	TEST FOR FIELD ENGINEERS
epa.txt	1005	The EPA has made illegal carrying certain flammable substances in your
estrosterone.txt	9161	WOMEN SPEAK IN ESTROGEN AND MEN LISTEN IN TESTOSTERONE
exam.txt	1988	Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught for about a zillion years by
exam_fun.txt	7050	Fifty Fun Things To Do During A Final That You Know You Are Going To Fail!
excuses.txt	1925	THE FOLLOWING IS A PARTIAL LIST OF ACTUAL WRITTEN EXCUSES GIVEN TO TEACHERS IN
ezekiel.txt	510	Ezekiel 25:17
facelift.txt	999	A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift.
factoids.txt	634	* "Stewardesses" is the longest English-language word that is typed with only
facts1.txt	6902	Everybody knows that February is the shortest month, but what's the longest?
facts2.txt	5476	AMUSING IRRELEVANT FACTS
facts3.txt	3667	Useless But Interesting Facts:
faith.txt	1355	There are three men all waiting at the pearlly gates and St. Peter comes to
fallen.txt	952	There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept
family.txt	1282	Family tree
farmers.txt	1537	A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car
fart.txt	1256	FARTOLOGY
father.txt	1141	A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered.
fbi.txt	1867	The following is a direct quote from the Center for Strategic and International
fbits.txt	1044	The following quote is from page 4-27 of the MSCP Basic Disk Functions Manual
fem_instruct.txt	2076	A Women's Little Instruction Book
fem_life.txt	438	THE DOCTOR.........because he says "Take your clothes off!"
fencing.txt	925	A man walked into the drug store and shyly asked the pretty girl behind the
finals.txt	2536	Finals. Finals. Finals.. Finals. Finals. Finals. Finals. Finals.
fire.txt	728	A man who worked for the fire department came home from work and told his wife,
fired.txt	1731	Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that
first.txt	1043	MY FIRST TIME EVER
first_prize.txt	563	A drunk Scotsman was walking home from the local pub one night and passed out
fishing.txt	1427	One day, a young man goes to apply for a sales job at a major department store.
florist1.txt	764	Some friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small
florist2.txt	569	A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him
flubs.txt	4686	"And they said it couldn't be done"
fluctuations.txt	355	A chinese man at the Foriegn Exchange counter in London:
flush.txt	985	Lady Diana and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before St.
fly1.txt	1493	Have you heard of the Fish and the Fly? There is a body of water with a fish
fly2.txt	1871	A blue-bottle fly was buzzing down the river and a salmon swimming in the
flying.txt	2753	WEEK 1
football.txt	5628	Do you remember junior high and High school? Do you remember talking about
ford_adam.txt	1015	Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, the guy tells Ford, "Well,
forgetful.txt	1321	An 85-year-old man marries a lovely 25-year-old woman. Because her new husband
frank.txt	778	Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his
freezing.txt	754	Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When
friend.txt	3832	MANAGED CARING PLAN
frog.txt	1273	A young boy walks into a whorehouse dragging a crushed frog on a string. He
frogtalk.txt	888	A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If
fuck.txt	3036	Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language
fun_news.txt	5358	A Florida chapter of the Ku Klux Klan is threatening to sue after being
funds.txt	487	Dear Dad,
fuse.txt	848	A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of
fuzzy.txt	1814	These are responses to a contest sponsored by OMNI magazine:
game.txt	2543	There were once two people travelling on a train, a scientist and a poet, who
gardening.txt	770	There was a beautiful woman who loved to work in her vegetable garden. No
gates.txt	8876	Bill Gates died and, much to everyone's surprise, went to Heaven. When he got
gates_redneck.txt	1772	THE TOP 25 THINGS THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT IF BILL GATES WERE A REDNECK
gates_wealth.txt	3070	Bill Gates Wealth Index
gayguy_great.txt	5680	100 reasons it's great to be a gay guy
gayrooster.txt	2155	An old farmer decides it's time to get a new rooster for his hens. The
geek.txt	1474	Question: When bumping into an old geek, should one
geese.txt	2704	T H E S E N S E O F T H E G O O S E
genderquotes.txt	2087	MEN & WOMEN - GENDER-BIASED QUOTES
genie1.txt	1479	Three friends, Fred, Tommy, and Elmo, were shipwrecked on a tropical isle.
genie2.txt	2148	This guy was walking along the beach in Malibu when he came across this salt-
genie3.txt	1860	A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with
genius.txt	3968	Human "genius" at work:
gerbil.txt	3291	Actually from the LA Times...
germengl.txt	2186	Having chosen English as the preferred language, the European Parliament has
gherkin.txt	5791	The Canonical List of Different Ways to Say "Masturbation"
girl_great.txt	6182	100 reasons why it's great to be a girl:
girlfriend.txt	1359	Girlfriend 4.0
god1.txt	741	A man was wondering in the woods pondering all the questions of life, universe,
god2.txt	3058	SOME IMPORTANT THEOLOGICAL QUESTIONS ARE ANSWERED IF WE THINK OF GOD AS A
god_comp.txt	1775	In the beginning, God created the bit. And the bit was a zero.
god_said.txt	2194	A man lives in a house and the river starts to rise. He cannot get his car
god_tax.txt	742	A little boy wanted $100.00 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing
god_test.txt	3149	ARE YOU A GOD? Take this simple test and find out.
god_w95.txt	1028	Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin, and Bill Gates were called in by God. God
goddamn.txt	1294	One day a nun was fishing and caught a huge fish for supper. A man was walking
golden.txt	1047	A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is
golf-skydiver.txt	130	What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
golf1.txt	1368	These four gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in
golf2.txt	993	A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them is playing as
golf3.txt	649	A golfer and his buddies where playing a big round of golf for $200. At the
golfdanger.txt	1305	Golf is a dangerous sport! This is a true story from Palm Beach Florida. The
golfgirl.txt	1099	A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of
gomer.txt	614	Gomer lives on a farm, and he knows nothing about women or sex, so for his
good_bad.txt	2036	GOOD * BAD * WORSE
goodtimes.txt	1790	The Goodtimes Email Virus
gopher.txt	2719	From a recent Dave Barry column...
gorilla.txt	426	A hunter in Uganda is being sought by local authorities for illegally hunting
gorsky.txt	727	It seems when Armstrong walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "One
grad.txt	1251	You just might be a grad student if:
grades.txt	3299	UNIVERSAL GRADE CHANGE FORM
greenman.txt	1216	There once was a little green man living in a little green house on the top of
gross.txt	964	Helen's husband had a terrible habit of letting go with an absolutely GIGANTIC
grown-up.txt	789	The kindergartners were now in the first grade. Their teacher wanted them to be
growth.txt	2941	Personal Growth
guardian.txt	632	A man was walking down a street when he heard a voice shout at him, "Stop!
guilt.txt	1259	Scene: A court room in Oklahoma where a person is on trial for murder. There
guiness.txt	577	One fine day, an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub
guvment.txt	1413	Son: "Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a
guy_great.txt	5700	100 reasons it's great to be a guy
guy_means.txt	2178	WHAT A GUY REALLY MEANS...
guyness.txt	5575	Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient
habits.txt	1135	YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER TOO LONG...
haiku.txt	3667	If Computers Wrote Error Message In Haiku
haircut.txt	1084	Women's version:
halloween1.txt	2910	* Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
halloween2.txt	2879	A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit.
handyman.txt	525	Handyman Pick-Up Lines (as presented by actor/comedian Tim Allen)
happybutt.txt	1273	This lovely little girl was entering class for the first time. A friendly
hard.txt	407	A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to
hare.txt	1500	A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle
hce.txt	3819	From the WEEKLY WORLD NEWS, May 24, 1994
head.txt	924	Three British educational institutions were commissioned by the government to
headache1.txt	2749	Joe was moderately successful in the career, but as he got older he was
headache2.txt	1064	It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She's
headline.txt	2009	ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES
health_warning.txt	1425	If government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor,
hearing.txt	764	An old lady came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing
heaven.txt	2097	A young couple was driving down the road one day, happily, deliriously in love
heavgate.txt	132	Heaven's Gate - WHY
hell1.txt	1255	Most people think heaven is above us and hell beneath. Actually they're side
hell2.txt	2408	Is Hell endothermic or exothermic?
hello.txt	7434	The Evolution of a Programmer
hemp.txt	421	From humor writer Bob Wieder:
hereisit.txt	1465	HERE I SIT
heretical.txt	1910	I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge,
hero.txt	579	I had a near death experience that has changed me forever. The other day, I
herpes.txt	770	A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look
hiding.txt	1511	Queen Elizabeth and Lady Di are out for a drive in the royal car on a Sunday
highway.txt	1782	"There it is again. Some clueless FOOL talking about the 'Information
hil_pig.txt	527	President Clinton flies into Andrews AFB. The color guard is present as well
hindlick.txt	668	A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town out in the country. She orders
hippie.txt	1388	A hippie gets onto a bus and proceeds to sit next to a Nun in the front seat.
hitman.txt	1695	There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday. One Saturday
hockey.txt	565	TOP TEN REASONS HOCKEY IS BETTER THAN SEX
hokeypokey.txt	319	It's always difficult to bring sad news, but thought you should know...
hole.txt	986	A Texas business man, while in Japan for some business meetings and a few
homer.txt	4006	All of these are from Homer Simpson. Unfortunately, not all of them are
homilies.txt	1834	HOMILIES
hominid.txt	3915	Paleoanthropology Division
hooked.txt	1147	You Know You're Hooked When:
hooker.txt	449	A couple met at Hilton Head and fell in love. They were discussing how they
hope.txt	1039	CASTRO VALLEY, Calif. An American dog has received the world's first set of
horror.txt	2519	Dear Mother and Dad:
horse.txt	1085	A horse and a rabbit were frolicing in a meadow. When the horse got stuck in
hostname.txt	367	TOP TEN ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY RIDICULOUS HOST NAMES
howtoimpress.txt	379	How to impress a woman:
hp.txt	5415	This is the story of a different kind. No melting CPUs, no screaming disc
hr_guide.txt	1060	What is a human resource? Does your organization struggle with the problem of
huh.txt	1342	See, This morning I was driving to work when a small furry multi-legged
humor1.txt	1516	"In a recent survey, 86 percent of college fraternity members admitted that
humor2.txt	2040	A man was boasting to his friend, "You know, I am a well known collector of
humor3.txt	1106	Always borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect to be paid back.
hunting.txt	1410	There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer
id4.txt	7023	40 THINGS I LEARNED FROM ID4
idiot.txt	1662	Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the
ikkystory.txt	12134	A couple of days ago we decided to cruise out to Ryan's Steak House for
im_a_man.txt	2151	Everyday I give thanks to God
im_a_woman.txt	1901	I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am
industry_humor.txt	453	In Computer Heaven:
injury.txt	2200	The following is taken from a Florida newspaper:
insanity.txt	2398	HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN THE WORKPLACE
insight.txt	1500	A little girl and her mother were out and about. The girl, out of the blue,
installations.txt	3957	"How To Install Software - A 12-Step Program"
insurance1.txt	2251	THE FOLLOWING ARE ACTUAL STATEMENTS FOUND ON INSURANCE FORMS WHERE AUTOMOBILE
insurance2.txt	765	The following is a courtroom exchange between a defense attorney and a farmer
interns.txt	3865	Attention SGI Interns:
internship.txt	2548	Greetings prospective White House interns! This year, our program is heading
interpretation.txt	1827	A team of archaeologists were excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave.
interview1.txt	613	Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young
interview2.txt	2212	There were four guys who were in the final stages of interviewing for a
interview3.txt	3367	Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest
interview4.txt	1647	Executives were asked: "What is the most unusual thing you have ever witnessed
investment.txt	1008	A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer.
iq.txt	1424	There's these three guys and they're out having a relaxing day fishing. Out of
iqtest.txt	3838	DENSA IQ Test
irishbash.txt	1260	An Englishman, an American and an Irishman are called upon to test a lie
ironic.txt	1688	1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill
island.txt	1488	There is a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere where the
isms.txt	538	SOCIALISM - YOU HAVE TWO COWS, YOU GIVE ONE TO YOUR NEIGHBOR.
issues.txt	1255	It all really just boils down to this:
italiano.txt	1073	I am an Italiano.
jabberwy.txt	974	The Jabberwocky
java.txt	1564	SUN MICROSYSTEMS SUES ISLAND OF JAVA*
jerk.txt	5230	Now get this. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had to
jerkbimb.txt	1986	10 REASONS WOMEN DATE JERKS INSTEAD OF NICE GUYS
jerkoff.txt	1530	A man complained to his friend, "My elbow hurts. I better go to the doctor."
jerkquiz.txt	3890	Today's quiz is directed toward the guys. Ladies, just sing along...
jesus.txt	2008	The other day I went to the local religious bookstore where I saw a HONK IF
jesus_elvis.txt	2096	Jesus said, "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39)
jesus_poem.txt	1098	Did Jesus use a modem,
jewpickup.txt	1465	James Shapiro's Jewish Pick-up Lines:
jobs.txt	360	Here I sit, broken-hearted,
johnny1.txt	761	Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked
johnny2.txt	711	Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating
johnny3.txt	924	Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. On this particular day, the teacher
johnny4.txt	498	Here we are in the classroom.
johnny5.txt	1281	One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit.
johnny_draws.txt	1883	Mrs. Smith, a third grade teacher wanted the class to play a game where one
jokes1.txt	5025	Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office.
jokes2.txt	1896	There was this construction worker, Steve, on the 3rd floor of this unfinished
jokes3.txt	2626	A lady says to her doctor, "My husband has been complaining that my vagina has
jokes4.txt	3253	It's tough being a politician. Half your reputation is ruined by lies; the
jokes5.txt	3092	Harry and his wife are having hard times, so they decide she'll become a
joy.txt	1415	1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it
kamasutra.txt	22514	The Love Teachings of Kama Sutra
keep_it_wet.txt	1157	Miss Bea was in her 80's and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to
kidnapper.txt	841	There was a Banta Sardarji who was down on his luck. In order to raise some
kids.txt	2205	Kids say the darnedest things. Some grade school teachers must agree with
kiss_my.txt	1094	A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely
kitty.txt	927	An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch reflecting
lab.txt	7374	50 Ways to Confuse, Worry, or Just Scare the Hell Out of People in the Computer
labs.txt	1300	There are three Labrador retrievers sitting in the waiting room at the vet's, a
ladder.txt	286	The Corporate Ladder:
landing.txt	1869	Real stories from Flight Attendants apologizing for rough transport on the
landlords.txt	1498	GENUINE EXCERPTS FROM LETTERS SENT TO LANDLORDS:
languages1.txt	1425	C - You shoot yourself in the foot.
languages2.txt	2755	Selecting a Programming Language Made Easy
laughs1.txt	8784	A young woman went into a bank to withdraw some money. "Can you identify
laughs2.txt	2136	Hubby: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
laundry.txt	829	Three women always hang their laundry out in the backyard. When it rains,
law_joke.txt	969	ONLY IN MERRY OLDE ENGLAND (actual trial)
lawyer1.txt	184	Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
lawyer2.txt	2482	From the Salt Lake Tribune:
lawyer3.txt	627	A lawyer and a Pope die at the same time and go up to heaven together. After
lawyer4.txt	3060	Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
lawyer5.txt	512	A newlywed couple was on their honeymoon. Before hopping into bed, the bride
lawyer6.txt	605	A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner. The attorney asked,
lawyer7.txt	838	A rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer are in a car. They run out of gas, and are
lawyer8.txt	813	NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to the space station Mir. Only
legend.txt	1617	A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and
legs.txt	1210	A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test
length.txt	555	A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom
leprechaun.txt	1728	One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He
leroy.txt	699	A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked
lesbian.txt	935	An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps
life.txt	1283	A nun and a priest were halfway across the desert when they realized that the
life_edu.txt	2447	Sometimes it seems that what we study in college doesn't have much relation to
light.txt	2807	Recently I have been pestered with a series of deeply scientific questions, all
light_news.txt	2132	Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
like_men.txt	2310	25 Reasons We Like Men Just The Way They Are
limerick.txt	162	There once was a Scot named McAmeter
lingerie1.txt	591	A man walks into the women's section of a department store and tells the
lingerie2.txt	1370	Upon getting to work one morning, seventy-five year old Marvin is reminded by
lingo.txt	2188	MORE SILICON VALLEY LINGO
lion_bull.txt	482	A lion was stalking through the jungle one day when he came across a bull. The
lipstick.txt	940	A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older
little_rrh.txt	1373	Little Red Riding Hood was getting ready to go and visit her grandmother in the
littleboy.txt	600	A young boy walking home from school must pass by a group of hookers working
liver.txt	821	The teacher was going around the class, asking each student grammar and English
long_blond.txt	1342	Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells
looklike.txt	1349	One evening this guy comes home from work to be greeted by his wife at the
looks.txt	968	A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length
lose_lbs.txt	2779	There was a heavyset guy who had tried every diet in the world in an attempt
lottery.txt	270	A wife gets home, runs into the house, slams the door and says, "Honey, pack
love1.txt	2562	How do you know if you're in love, in lust, or really married?
love2.txt	6573	ORIGINS OF LOVE
love_exc.txt	3221	To My Dear Wife,
love_forever.txt	4501	From Joe Bob at the Drive In
love_hate.txt	1054	The more I think of you, the more I
love_laws.txt	736	Murphy's Laws of Love
ls.txt	1331	L's Bells - a contest by Focus Magazine
macarena.txt	667	Two men sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to
maid.txt	839	A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The
mailman.txt	1452	It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the
maine.txt	1397	Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the
malefacts.txt	2595	25 Facts For Women To Know About Men
man_bashing.txt	1252	What can a bird do that a man can't?
man_woman.txt	1650	Two new elements have been discovered...
manage_bulb.txt	1978	How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
manager.txt	1122	Three men, a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer are
mansays.txt	1676	Here is the woman's guide to what a man is really saying...
marriage.txt	1364	A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.
marriage1.txt	2547	Lighter Side of Marriage
marriage2.txt	1066	A priest and nun are on their way back home from a convention when their car
marriage3.txt	383	A miserably married guy decides he needs some companionship, so he goes to a
marriage4.txt	2309	Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y"
married.txt	1193	Married Life... QUOTES
marriedlife.txt	4441	The following is from a 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for the High
marriedsex.txt	528	A man returned home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the curb with
marriedyet.txt	1440	25 Snappy Comebacks to the age old question "Why aren't you married yet?"
mars_venus.txt	4638	RECEIVED FROM AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR:
matches.txt	1334	The choir director selected the 6-year-old little boy with the sweetest face
math1.txt	3001	A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe
math2.txt	629	A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that
mattel.txt	449	"Other Toys Being Discontinued by Mattel"
maxims.txt	1210	MAXIM'S O' THE DAY:
meaning.txt	1439	After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the
meat.txt	4656	"They're made out of meat."
medicalprobs.txt	5410	GROSS Medical Problems
melrose.txt	2567	ALL I EVER NEEDED TO KNOW I LEARNED AT MELROSE PLACE:
men-dogs.txt	3301	Why Dogs Are Better Than Men
men1.txt	3640	RITA RUDNER'S FACTS ABOUT MEN
men2.txt	815	A Few Thoughts About Men...
men_are_like.txt	1139	Men are like department stores:
men_bash.txt	459	What is the difference between pigs and men?
men_vs_women.txt	1214	1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
menmean.txt	4249	WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN -
menu.txt	693	A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
mercy.txt	1694	A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway in Nevada when he notices
messages.txt	1497	Actual Phone Answering Machine Messages
metaphor.txt	2472	BATTLE OF THE METAPHORS
mexican.txt	2070	What do you call a Mexican vasectomy?
micro_cars.txt	2756	If Microsoft Built Cars
mikey.txt	732	One day little Mikey comes home from kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his
mil_specs.txt	1758	HOW MIL SPECS LIVE FOREVER
minnow.txt	2045	There is a minnow swimming in a pond, who spots a worm. "Hmm," thinks the
minorwisdom.txt	1913	Minor Words Of Semi-Wisdom
misc.txt	1443	The factory of the future will have two employees, a man and a dog. The man
mistress.txt	721	Two guys were having a slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of
mit.txt	3744	MIT certainly has a reputation to be proud of, but its admissions department
mixup.txt	999	A guy is walking through China Town in New York. He is fascinated by all the
models1.txt	2773	I'd like to share with you these inspirational words from the great minds of
models2.txt	1245	The Top 16 Ways to Annoy a Supermodel
moles.txt	456	There was a mamma mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole
mom.txt	1279	John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't
mom_ew.txt	944	One evening after work several guys were going out to have a drink and they
money.txt	1937	One day this rich guy was having a party at his house. He was loaded, and he
monkey1.txt	1220	A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's
monkey2.txt	2601	I Like Monkeys
moose.txt	978	These two hunters went moose hunting every year without success. Finally they
motel.txt	2806	Phone Won't Stop Ringing?
mother.txt	1128	A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they
moths.txt	1064	The lovers passionately embraced on her bed, their bodies fused together as
mottos.txt	1316	REJECTED STATE MOTTOS
movies.txt	1772	12 interesting things that you learn about computers in the movies...
ms_excel.txt	1087	Fun and games with excel
ms_gm.txt	715	Bill Gates wanted to look good and impress everyone with his success. He
ms_help.txt	1204	A pilot is flying a small single engined charter plane, with a couple of
ms_mythos.txt	2268	And LO! The Lord of the OS did come down among His sheep and He did sayeth,
ms_usa.txt	2996	REDMOND, WA - Oct. 21, 1997 -- In direct response to accusations made by the
msoft.txt	4985	There was a knock on the door...
mtb_slang.txt	19698	Internet MTB Dictionary
mudology.txt	1789	Academy of Mudgeology
murphy1.txt	1112	1. The more confidential the memo, the more likely it will be left in the
murphy2.txt	4135	MURPHY'S LAWS ON WORK
murphy_sex.txt	3767	TWISTED IDIOMS
musichistory.txt	4129	These are stories and test questions accumulated by music teachers in the
names.txt	2169	Groaners for the morning blues:
naming.txt	608	MacGregor the Scotsman at the turn of the century was standing at the local pub
nasty.txt	144	Q. What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
nastyturkey.txt	604	Eleven things that sound politically incorrect at Thanskgiving, but aren't:
navy.txt	508	Actual radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations:
needs.txt	1639	A husband and wife were getting all snugly in bed. The passion was heating up,
neighbor.txt	1328	Neighbor 1: "Hi there, new neighbor. It sure is a mighty nice day to be
nell.txt	8721	** The Ballad of Eskimo Nell **
nerdbait.txt	1732	This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer.
net.txt	1065	The Top 10 Signs You're Addicted to the 'Net'
netdork.txt	4315	Subject: Hi! Please read me and dont ignore me!
nethistory.txt	5268	The History of The Net
newbaby.txt	1338	The Top 16 Changes Now That the Baby Has Arrived
newbible.txt	956	The top ten ways the Bible would have been different if it had been written by
newborn.txt	605	An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was
newwords.txt	1924	AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the
nice.txt	4702	Six minutes to six, said the clock over the information booth in New
noexcuse.txt	588	A man came home late one night.
nofucking.txt	1390	A man and his wife have been stranded on a deserted island for many years. One
nolife.txt	4606	How to determine if technology has taken over your life:
nonequal.txt	2709	BOYS AND GIRLS ARE BORN EQUAL BUT NOT THE SAME
norights.txt	3421	Bill of No Rights
normism.txt	3487	"Can I draw you a beer, Norm?"
not_gifts.txt	1256	Washington Post - Style Invitational Challenge for the week was to come up with
not_rcmd.txt	1052	To whom it may concern:
not_said.txt	1141	THE LAST 10 THINGS ANY WOMAN WOULD EVER SAY:
notbooks1.txt	1164	Top 20 children's books not recommended by the National Library Assoc.
notbooks2.txt	872	Children's books you will NOT see:
notdirty.txt	1440	Top ten things that sound dirty in golf but aren't:
notmilk.txt	382	A man walks into a tee shirt store. There are 3 shirts on display:
nudist.txt	720	A family of three, mom, dad and a 10-year-old girl, went down to Florida to
nullwork.txt	1381	The Top 14 Signs You Have Nothing to Do at Work
numbers.txt	1119	A numbers game
nun1.txt	1562	A nun gets into a cab in New York. She demurely says in a small, high voice,
nun2.txt	1171	At midnight one middle-aged man was waiting at a train station to cross the
nun3.txt	1380	It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath and young Sister Magdalene
nun4.txt	579	Cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
nuts.txt	1454	There was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a
nuttyprof.txt	5749	50 Fun Things for Professors to Do on the First Day of Class
nympho.txt	1331	A man walks onto an airplane and takes his seat. He looks up and notices the
octopus.txt	1120	A Guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says, "I bet $50 that no one
oddmath.txt	515	Mystery of Math
oj_burn.txt	702	A man is on his way home from work one afternoon in LA and he's stopped in
oj_seuss.txt	1209	The OJ trial as Told by Dr. Seuss
old.txt	1226	YOU KNOW YOU'RE OLD WHEN...
olymgold.txt	1694	The Top 20 Indications You Won't Win Olympic Gold
olympics.txt	4097	Live From NBC! Drum Roll, Please.
one-liners.txt	1198	Q: Who enjoys sex more, the man or the woman?
online.txt	4245	YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO SERIOUS ABOUT COMPUTERS...
oreos.txt	484	TOP TEN REASONS OREOS ARE BETTER THAN MEN
os_beer.txt	4289	If Operating Systems Were Beers...
out2getcha.txt	1736	The Top 16 Signs Someone at Work is Out to Get You
overtake.txt	990	A man was riding his bike in the English countryside, cruising past severl
owngramp.txt	1035	Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversation. After a while one of them
oxymoron.txt	1030	Top 47 OXYMORONS:
packwood.txt	489	Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich, and Bob Packwood are traveling in a car together in
pain.txt	1526	Three men were sitting around the fire, drinking beer and telling stories.
panda.txt	551	A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the
pants.txt	2951	OWATONNA, Minn (AP)
para_men.txt	952	The Paradoxes of Men
parents_learn.txt	2272	Parents Know...
parks.txt	1971	These are questions that people actually asked of Park Rangers around the
parrot1.txt	1427	There's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean
parrot2.txt	578	The scene is a New York City subway. Seated together - somewhat awkwardly -
parrot3.txt	1136	A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have
part.txt	1052	On a senior citizen bus tour, the driver was surprised. While the passengers
parts.txt	700	Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The
party.txt	2202	HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE THROWING A SUCCESSFUL PARTY
pass.txt	530	On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some
passing.txt	429	A man jumps from an airplane and when he pulls his parachute cord, it breaks.
pasteurized.txt	436	A milkman was making his deliveries and found a note attached to a customer's
patch.txt	779	Two drunks are driving down the highway drinking beer. All of a sudden they see
pborg.txt	99	I am pentium of Borg.
pc.txt	3216	vertically challenged -- short
pc_fem.txt	2277	Politically correct usage when talking to/about females:
peanuts.txt	818	A man walked into a Bingo Parlor itching to win big. He got himself situated
peasea.txt	5093	Long ago, in the days when all disks flopped in the breeze and the writing of
peeing.txt	1277	An 80-year-old man went for his annual check up and the doctor said, "Friend,
penguin1.txt	862	A guy is walking down the street, and he's really horny. So he goes to the
penguin2.txt	697	The pope goes to visit the Seven Dwarfs. As he is finishing his speech on
penis1.txt	7671	TYPES OF PENIS
penis2.txt	2523	THE LONG AND THE SHORT:
penispoem.txt	446	My nookie days are over
pennies.txt	677	One day a bachelor who was a poor tipper walked into his favorite restaurant
perfect.txt	788	It seems that this perfect man met this perfect woman and they got married.
perfectday.txt	2072	The Perfect Day for Her:
pharmacist.txt	1359	A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her
philosophy.txt	2313	Collection of Philosophy
pianist.txt	1960	This guy walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender is off by the sink
pick_down.txt	4354	PICK-UP REBUTTAL HUMOR
picking.txt	1370	NOSE PICKING GLOSSARY
pickle.txt	835	Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of
pickup1.txt	1428	Pick Up Lines
pickup2.txt	5362	NORTHEASTERN'S BEST PICKUP LINES
pickup_engr.txt	1075	The Ultimate List of Pick-Up Lines to Use on Engineering Chicks
pierre.txt	1313	Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a
pigs.txt	1280	A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc. After
pinocchio1.txt	958	A man died and went to the gates of heaven. There he was met by St. Peter. St.
pinocchio2.txt	406	Pinocchio got a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters
pints.txt	1176	An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits
piss1.txt	1558	20 Types of People You Might Meet in the Men's Room
piss2.txt	1050	Three men were using the urinals in a public restroom. The first man finished
pisssupp.txt	3789	SUBJECT: Personal Function Kit Technical Support
plan.txt	1206	In the beginning was the Plan.
plastered.txt	1383	A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until
playing_cards.txt	954	Little Johnny woke up in the middle of the night and went to the bathroom. On
pluckyew.txt	1391	In the battle of Agincourt, the French, who were overwhelmingly favored to win
plump.txt	672	My Appetite is My Shepard (Pound 23)
politics.txt	1767	Scandal in the Wind: Bill Clinton's alleged affair with a White House intern
pooh.asc	11650	__( )_ "Oh, bother!" said Pooh.
poopie.txt	3111	Ghost Poopie - The kind where you feel the poopie comes out, but there's no
pope.txt	1202	The Pope had just finished a tour of the Napa Valley and was taking a
popejews.txt	2435	About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave
porch.txt	1103	Julie, a blonde, was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to
porn.txt	1108	The big problem with pornography is defining it. You can't just say it's
potential.txt	1136	A teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his
power.txt	1599	From an ex-field sales/support survivor:
powerbk.txt	3339	In 1993, sometime in December, a customer walks in with a dead PowerBook 165.
prayer1.txt	350	Lord, grant me the serenity
prayer2.txt	1203	A guy from Tyson Foods arranges to visit the Pope. After receiving the papal
prayer3.txt	965	A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious
preacher.txt	1319	A Preacher wanted to raise money for his church and, being told there were
predicted_deaths.txt	620	THE "PREDICTED" TOP TEN MOST IRONIC CELEBRITY DEATHS
pres_clock.txt	771	Laura walked into the White House for her first day of her internship and was
pres_joke.txt	3514	Presidential Jokes, as seen at the Late Night Show with Jay Leno
pres_phone.txt	1959	Presidential Answering Service
pretzel.txt	1640	Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is
pride1.txt	683	Outside of the Manila Hotel, a Japanese tourist gets in a cab and tells the
pride2.txt	861	A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country
priest.txt	951	Every time Timmy's mom had her boyfriend over, she put Timmy in the closet
prisons.txt	1982	* In prison they spend the majority of their time in a 8' x 10'cell.
problemform.txt	2517	Computer Problem Report Form
profession.txt	1117	HOW "THEY" DO IT WHEN IT COMES TO SEX
profmean.txt	2719	WHAT THE PROFESSOR REALLY MEANS
prohibitions.txt	2084	Prohibited Activities in Certain States...
property.txt	1551
pshift.txt	3237	PSHIFT(1) USER COMMANDS PSHIFT(1)
psych.txt	2519	Two builders (Fred and Bill) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub
psychology.txt	590	RING
pudding.txt	727	Some Gangsters think of robbing a bank. They think of the best plan that can be
pulled_over.txt	540	WHAT NOT TO SAY THE NEXT TIME YOU GET STOPPED...
pulling_out.txt	805	One day little Johnny went to his father and asked him if he could buy him a
pulpdiction.txt	1076	"Pulp Diction"
pumpkin.txt	673	A man was driving home late one night and was feeling very horny, as he was
pun1.txt	957	The basic facts are simple enough.
pun2.txt	1627	Did you hear that the Pillsbury dough boy died? Yup, got a yeast infection.
punny.txt	2033	This just in from the international desk:
pussy.txt	1275	A man walks into a bar and he asks the bartender, "Do you know someone that can
puzzle.txt	1040	THE WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ?
quayle.txt	4726	"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that
questionable.txt	1730	In Cleveland, Ohio, it's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.
questions.txt	1437	- If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
quickies.txt	1139	"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other
quiz.txt	2118	SEXUAL TENSION QUIZ:
quotes1.txt	2263	I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in
quotes2.txt	2505	Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like
randy.txt	1545	A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking
rat.txt	2014	A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown.
realengr.txt	1480	Real Engineers...
recipite.txt	876	Recipe for Love
recruiting.txt	3225	There once was a consultant who lived her whole life without ever taking
recycle.txt	1011	A Texan, a Californian and a Washingtonian were camping in the woods. They are
red_neck1.txt	6366	"YOU" MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF...
red_neck2.txt	1457	Your Starship Captain just might be a redneck if...
red_neck3.txt	375	Two rednecks were in a bar partying like fools. They were drinking boiler
redshirt.txt	1403	Seems there was a treasure ship on its way back to port. About halfway there,
redwings.txt	1596	A farmer dies and goes to hell. While down there the Devil notices that the
redwork.txt	540	Top 10 Ways To Tell If A Redneck Has Been Working At A Computer In Your Office:
reform_jew.txt	3367	It was Moses who led the Jews out of slavery in Egypt and into the desert where
reject.txt	1999	Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and what they actually mean...)
relate.txt	7432	Contrary to what many women believe, it's fairly easy to develop a long-term,
relativity.txt	1436	A young couple are on their way to Las Vegas to get married. Before getting
religion1.txt	1600	A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After
religion2.txt	1140	An old Jewish man was once on the subway and he sat down next to a younger man.
religion3.txt	1021	A Protestant moved into a completely Catholic community. Being good Catholics
religion4.txt	783	In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a
religmath.txt	1505	A ten-year-old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors
rememberwhen.txt	1118	Remember When...
remoteremote.txt	3199	TOKYO - Television watching became even more convenient this week with Sony's
repub.txt	3601	BORN REPUBLICAN by Daniel Mendelsohn
resume1.txt	1725	Resume Bloopers from Robert Half: (These are real examples from real resumes)
resume2.txt	2367	Actual Resume Mistakes
returns.txt	597	A man was carrying 2 babies, one in each arm while waiting for a train.
riddle.txt	245	Riddle:
robbers.txt	3940	According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and
roller.txt	4598	Title: The World's Greatest Smoke Off
roommate.txt	13736	20+ Ways To Confuse Your Roommate:
rooster.txt	428	A man is driving down a quiet country lane when suddenly a rooster scurries
rubbit.txt	833	One day when the teacher walked into the classroom, she noticed that someone
rules.txt	1496	1. The Female always makes THE RULES.
rules_50.txt	2977	A WOMAN'S 50 RULES FOR MEN
rum.txt	1355	CHRISTMAS RUM CAKE
saddlehorn.txt	766	An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas
safari.txt	942	John came back from a safari in Africa. Upon arrival, he went to his partner,
safe_fax.txt	1370	A Guide to Safe Fax
sales.txt	922	John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He
samesex.txt	4309	>>>>>> Furor Erupts in Brigham City Schools <<<<<<
santa.txt	4058	December 14th
santabill.txt	2516	'Twas the night before Christmas and throughout the White House,
saves.txt	1004	Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes
sayduh.txt	2137	I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison
sayings.txt	965	A fourth grade class was asked to provide original endings to famous sayings.
schitt.txt	971	Has anyone ever said to you, "You don't know Jack Schidt"?
schubert.txt	1448	A company chairman was given a ticket for a performance of Schubert's
science.txt	2243	A teacher forwarded this list of comments from test papers, essays, etc.,
scooby.txt	2917	Scooby-DOOBIE-Doo, where are you?
scotland.txt	2144	I was in New York a few months ago in a bar on the corner of Times Square when
scotts.txt	184	Q: What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman?
screwed1.txt	640	An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a
screwed2.txt	1083	A western reporter goes to Armenia to write articles about that land. He meets
secret.txt	735	This straight guy walks into a bar and suddenly realizes it's a gay bar. He
secs.txt	715	A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks
seeking.txt	4607	A List of Abbreviations in the "WOMEN SEEKING MEN" Classified
segerstam.txt	5405	A few years ago we worked with Leif Segerstam, a composer/conductor from
seinfeld1.txt	5386	Jerry Seinfeld:
seinfeld2.txt	3409	Seinfeld-isms (From the Washington Post)
sengineer.txt	1664	There was a software engineer, who used to develop programs on his Pentium
sermon.txt	1104	It was Sunday, and the entire congregation was sitting inside its customary
service.txt	828	A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures
services.txt	561	A couple return from their honeymoon and it's obvious to everyone that they are
seuss_tyson.txt	3498	DR. SEUSS' VERSION OF THE TYSON-HOLYFIELD FIGHT:
seussbooks.txt	659	DR. SEUSS' LESSER-KNOWN BOOKS
seusstech.txt	1346	WHAT IF DR. SUESS DID TECHNICAL WRITING?
sex-1liners.txt	2576	Q: What is the definition of 'wicker box'?
sex.txt	1564	Everybody who has a dog calls him Rover or Boy. I call mine Sex. Now Sex has
sex_ilgl.txt	3539	Sex Laws in the Good 'ol U S of A
sex_laws.txt	4520	Weird Local USA Sex Laws
sex_mean.txt	2747	The trick to successful dating is learning how to interpret the hidden signs,
sexcalories.txt	2808	ACTIVITY CALORIES BURNED ACTIVITY CALORIES BURNED
sexlaws.txt	1955	1) Willowdale, Ore. - It's against the law for a husband to talk dirty during
sextypes.txt	452	My aunt used to tell me there were three kinds of sex in a marriage. There was
sexvsgolf.txt	978	Top 25 reasons why sex is better than golf:
sf.txt	948	You Know You Are In San Francisco When...
shakes.txt	437	The three old men were sitting around complaining about how much their hands
shakespear.txt	2691	Shakespeare Insult Kit
sheep.txt	3737	Reasons Sheep Are Better Than Women
sherlock.txt	892	Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a
shift.txt	4924	Unleash the Power of Shift!
shirts.txt	2408	THE TOP 43 NERD T-SHIRT SLOGANS
shit.txt	1523	TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
shmear.txt	3900	Our company provides its employees with free bagels and schmears (cream cheese
shot.txt	1420	A pregnant woman is in a bank when an armed robber enters the bank and shoots
shotgun.txt	3530	The Shotgun Rules
shoulders.txt	396	A blonde and a brunette are in an elevator. On the third floor a man gets on
shutdown.txt	1874	*** Attention ***
shy.txt	765	A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar.
sick.txt	1043	A man with a bad stomach complaint goes to his local doctor and asks him what
sickleave.txt	1018	MEMO TO ALL EMPLOYEES
signs1.txt	924	On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners:
signs2.txt	489	A deaf couple are on their honeymoon. The husband asks the wife in sign
signs3.txt	2077	Actual Business Signs
signs4.txt	1884	The following are actual signs seen across the good ol' U.S.A.
silver.txt	873	A boy and his father visiting from a third world country were at a mall. They
sinning.txt	1315	Three guys found themselves in Hell: Bob, Dave, and Neil. A little confused at
sins.txt	1519	One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair,
sisters.txt	1242	One Sunday morning William burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I
skiing1.txt	3592	Ski season will soon be here, so here is a guide to "snow" terms for beginner
skiing2.txt	2179	In case you don't get a chance to go skiing this season, here are some
skis.txt	2651	A group went on a holiday ski trip to Colorado. The conditions were perfect -
skylight.txt	889	Joan, the rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her vacation
slap.txt	886	An Irishman, an Englishman, and Claudia Schiffer were sitting together in the
sleeping.txt	1605	RESPONSES IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING ON THE JOB
slip-up.txt	776	Sister Margaret died and through some error found herself in hell. She
slow.txt	760	Once, there was an extra population in the jungle. So the King of the Jungle
slowstop.txt	793	A man was driving down a local street one day and approached a stop sign. He
smallballs.txt	284	The Corporate Ladder:
smallbook.txt	3122	A Female's Guide To Logical Thinking
smartones.txt	112	All babies are born with a penis.
smiles.txt	2702	:-) the normal smiling face, appended to a sentence or an article means
smith.txt	1624	Mrs. Smith presented her husband with a 12 lbs baby and for a joke, one of the
snore.txt	901	By the time John pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken.
so_types.txt	4841	The 9 Types of Boyfriends
soap.txt	7732	From the Sunday Times (London, England)
soclengr.txt	2027	A guide for engineers (and friends of engineers):
software_engr.txt	1172	A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Departmental Manager were on
soldier.txt	622	Mr. Jones hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. While
someday.txt	2781	A Story To Live By
soninlaw.txt	1108	A 60-year-old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom.
sonofabitch.txt	1957	A priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church in Italy. He looks
southwest.txt	623	A mother and her son were flying Southwest from Kansas to Chicago. The son
spaghetti.txt	1193	The mention of "a feast of spaghetti code" ["Computer Collectives," CrossTalk,
spam.txt	1669	"Ode to Spam - A Haiku Poem"
spank.txt	442	A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later:
sparrow.txt	557	One bitterly cold winter a sparrow was flying alone, freezing and starving.
spice_girls.txt	1690	The Spice Girls Application Form
spoon.txt	1812	A man who had come into some money needed a tax write-off, so he bought a
sportquotes.txt	4203	Sports Quotes:
spot.txt	867	A young man was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of the
squeeze.txt	1036	The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that
stages.txt	2604	THE FEMALE STAGES OF LIFE
standing.txt	13314	Men, want to know where you stand in the rough-and-tumble, give-and-take world
stanley.txt	863	Once upon a time there was a sperm named Stanley who lived inside a famous
startrek1.txt	3117	A Star Trek: The Next Generation Christmas
startrek2.txt	6232	Star Trek Lost Episodes Transcript
starwars.txt	1842	Star Wars Top 10 Sexually Slanted Lines
statues.txt	904	For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in
statutory.txt	1790	A man takes the day off of work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the
stiffie.txt	498	A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the
stocks.txt	840	Today's Stock Market Report:
stone.txt	1080	Johnny, Billy, and Tommy were walking home from school one warm spring day. As
stowaway.txt	1120	A depressed young woman from a Manhattan finishing school was so desperate
stranded1.txt	4561	There was this male engineer on a cruise ship in the Caribbean for the first
stranded2.txt	1019	There is this ship that goes out to sea and crashes. 6 people (1 woman and 5
stress.txt	3463	HOW TO STAY STRESSED
stressed.txt	1389	YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO STRESSED IF...
strict.txt	592	Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, laid
stuck.txt	928	A young couple is out carousing one evening. While driving down the highway
student.txt	1164	YOU MIGHT BE A COLLEGE STUDENT...
studly.txt	1419	Two aliens land in Metro Detroit, and they happen to land next to a gas
study.txt	461	A student comes to a young professor's office hours.
stupid1.txt	2522	Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel
stupid2.txt	1942	Glen Woodcock, 31, drove his Ford Bronco onto an Army bombing range, then got
stupid3.txt	1778	49 Politically Correct Ways to Say Someone is Stupid
stupid4.txt	2141	I was busy writing some computer program for one of my classes and my roommate
stupidcupid.txt	1466	The Top 15 Signs Cupid has Gone Nuts
stutter1.txt	918	A man with a stuttering problem tries everything he can to stop stuttering, but
stutter2.txt	2112	This door-to-door entrepreneur became rather bored with his job of selling
stutter3.txt	1145	Guy goes into a bar.
style.txt	552	Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away
success1.txt	1274	A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going up into the
success2.txt	478	To laugh often and much;
suicide.txt	669	A woman in her 90's is distraught after the death of her warm, caring, faithful
sunos.txt	5166	The Day SunOS Died
sunufabitch.txt	928	A sixteen year old girl goes to confession.
superbowl.txt	1161	A man receives a free ticket to the SuperBowl from his company.
superman.txt	1149	Superman is bored fighting crime everyday. So one Friday night he decides to
support.txt	1734	If restaurants functioned like software companies...
supreme_ct.txt	3340	WASHINGTON, DC - In a landmark decision Monday, the United States Supreme
surgery.txt	1549	Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery
suthun.txt	2690	Translating Southern United States to English
swami.txt	2380	Swami Beyondananda's Guidelines for Enlightenment
swap_pres.txt	496	Bill, Hillary, Al and Tipper are all feeling a little saucy in the family room
swimming.txt	529	Two mice were sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub. The first
symphony.txt	1670	A number of years ago, the Seattle Symphony was doing Beethoven's Ninth under
sys_santa.txt	723	Consider the similarities between Santa Claus and system administrators.
tags.txt	1623	- Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
taipei.txt	767	Top 10 tips for Driving in Taipei
taiwanese.txt	1749	The beautiful secretary of the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank goes on a
tame.txt	1647	A man walks into a bar, with a huge alligator on a leash. He walks over to the
tampon.txt	395	Three newly incarcerated convicts are discussing how they will pass their time
tarzan.txt	753	Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 years with only apes
taxes1.txt	952	The only thing that the IRS has not yet taxed is your penis. This is due to
taxes2.txt	5395	I'm Stuck with the Kids - A Frustrated Taxpayer Writes the IRS
teacher.txt	463	A first grader comes home and announces to his father that he had sex with his
tease.txt	583	A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing
tech_red.txt	868	How to tell if you might be a "high tech redneck"
tech_xmas.txt	6556	On the first day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
technologycar.txt	1325	This lady always wanted an expensive car - a status symbol to drive around and
techsupport1.txt	4567	T E C H S U P P O R T T A L E S # 10
techsupport2.txt	2582	Why we should feel sorry for tech support people:
techsupport3.txt	2662	What Is Technical Harassment?
techsupport4.txt	842	The Top 12 Things You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support
techterm.txt	1243	Technical Terminology
techwarn.txt	5287	What follows is apparently an actual notice enclosed in a packing box which
telemark.txt	888	Next time one of those pushy telemarketing people calls, try one of these
tendjewberrymud.txt	1501	Be warned, you're going to find yourself talking "funny" for a while after
terminology.txt	3866	When I went to college in the 1980's, I heard a lot of words like "data input"
test1.txt	1386	A man (M) and a lady (L) who are very much in love and devoted to one another
test2.txt	2911	FINAL EXAM
texas.txt	414	There were a group of California 3rd grade boys at school. They decided that
the_trees.txt	144	FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
theft.txt	491	There's this drunk staggering down the street with his car keys in his hand. He
thesis.txt	2389	One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the fine
thin.txt	573	This little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound
thing.txt	1058	There was this guy who really takes care of his body. He lifts weights and
thinking.txt	2568	It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to
thoughts1.txt	2897	ON METAPHYSICS
thoughts2.txt	2818	My school colors were clear.
thumb.txt	1108	A man goes into a restaurant and orders soup. When the waiter brings out the
timbuktu.txt	1237	Three poets - an Indian, an Englishman, and an American - arrive at the gates
time2marry.txt	527	An elderly couple had been dating for sometime and decided it was finally time
tingaling.txt	1227	Three young candidates for the priesthood are told by the Monsignor they have
tired.txt	1074	Yes, I'm tired. For several years, I've been blaming it on middle age, iron
titanic.txt	4915	SHORTENED VERSION OF TITANIC SCREENPLAY
tits.txt	988	There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to
toasters.txt	3455	If Netscape made toasters...
toddler_laws.txt	559	Toddler Property Laws
tonto.txt	426	The Lone Ranger and Tonto are lost in the middle of nowhere on the prairie.
too_long.txt	1357	YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN COLLEGE TOO LONG WHEN...
toomuchcoffee.txt	1683	YOU KNOW YOU'RE DRINKING TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN:
toostupid.txt	2314	Actual dialog of a fired WordPerfect Customer Support employee:
toothfairy.txt	1596	To: _________________
torture.txt	2634	A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been
tough.txt	747	Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each
tough_mice.txt	981	Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night
tradition.txt	1507	Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string
train1.txt	1277	A few days after Christmas, a mother working in the kitchen was listening to
train2.txt	1992	The section foreman advertised in the newspaper for a part-time tower operator
translate1.txt	1535	Sometimes it's lost in the translation
translate2.txt	2979	Translation bloopers
translate3.txt	3128	Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It
travellers.txt	3680	The following are actual stories told by travel agents about their actual
treesurvey.txt	545	Two tall trees are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between
trick.txt	920	In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young girl. The four
trickquiz.txt	2228	****************** Questions ****************
trns_ebonics.txt	7113	This paper was turned in by an Oakland High school student who received the
troubled.txt	1139	Dear Abby,
troubleshooting.txt	1647	COMPUTER PROBLEM REPORT FORM
trunk.txt	1365	Jack goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm having trouble getting my penis
turner.txt	777	Two guys are in an elevator and all of a sudden the power dies and they get
tv_web.txt	807	TOP TEN REASONS WHY TV IS BETTER THAN THE WEB
twinkie.txt	3871	Twinkie Failure Testing
twisted.txt	770	A lady was in the delivery room starting to deliver her baby. As the head came
twister.txt	746	The Top 17 Rejected Titles for the Movie "Twister"
typing.txt	1047	Mark and Sharon decide they don't want to discuss sex in front of their 4 and 6
tyson1.txt	541	MIKE TYSON'S EXCUSES FOR THE FIGHT
tyson2.txt	1103	The Top 15 New Problems for Mike Tyson
uclight.txt	1238	UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIGHTBULB JOKES
ugly_kid1.txt	614	A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "That's the ugliest
ugly_kid2.txt	1059	A drunk gets on a train and stumbles down the aisle looking for a seat. He
umlauts.txt	637	ÜNITED STÄTES TOUGHENS IMAGE WITH UMLAUTS
unabomber.txt	1402	The Top 15 Things Overheard Between the Unabomber and the Psychiatrist
underwear.txt	974	Walking 'Round in Women's Underwear
united.txt	1540	An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart
unix.txt	3658	In order for UNIX(tm) to survive into the nineties, it must get rid of its
up_or_down.txt	1388	Fred and Edith are living in the Old Folks Home. One day, Fred says to Edith,
usenet.txt	2702	Based on the Major General's song from
valentine.txt	1752	Screw Valentine's Day
valuejet.txt	565	TOP 10 NEW SLOGANS FOR VALUEJET AIRLINES
van_gogh.txt	1397	VAN GOGH'S RELATIVES
vasectomy.txt	1137	After having their 10th child, an Arkansas couple decided that that was enough.
vaseline1.txt	4301	This feller said that one day he was riding through North Carolina and he saw
vaseline2.txt	2494	There's this guy who's in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a
venom.txt	1211	THE MOST VENOMOUS SNAKE IN THE WORLD
ventriloquist1.txt	953	A ventriliquist cowboy walks into town and sees Indian sitting on his porch.
ventriloquist2.txt	1442	A mangy-looking guy goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "No
venus.txt	3261	FEMALE PERSPECTIVE
vet.txt	244	No jokes today.
vi.txt	1403	Addicted to vi
viagra1.txt	1981	With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs
viagra2.txt	803	Top Ten Slogans Currently Being Considered by Viagra:
viagra3.txt	842	This man gets his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to get ready for when
victoria.txt	622	Top Ten Things Men SHOULDN'T say out loud in Victoria's Secret:
virus.txt	2882	NPR VIRUS: Program stops every 7 minutes and asks for money.
volcano.txt	987	The Top 15 Rejected Slogans for the Movie "Volcano"
voodoo.txt	3321	There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business
vw.txt	1682	This guy in a Volkswagen pulls up at a traffic light and looks out the window
walmart.txt	4217	50 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
warantee.txt	4049	AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES
warning.txt	692	A burglar got into a house one night. Shining his flashlight on the floor in
wars-vs-trek.txt	1055	TOP TEN REASONS WHY THE STAR WARS CHARACTERS
washington.txt	4487	Washington State College & University Directory.
watch.txt	1148	This guy is at the airport waiting for his flight which leaves a 6:00 but he
weaving.txt	931	A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer. The following
wedding.txt	1642	If any of you guys out there have ever thought you had balls, forget about it.
weighed.txt	829	The young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride
weird1.txt	4327	Fire Authorities in California found a corpse in a burnt out section of forest
weird2.txt	7429	* In April the Iowa Supreme Court turned down inmate Kirk Livingood's attempt
welfare.txt	1702	[Sentences taken from Actual letters received with Welfare applications:]
western.txt	2250	The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles
wgasa.txt	845	Some years ago, the famous San Diego Zoo opened a second, larger branch called
whale.txt	2050	I am absolutely not making this incident up; in fact I have it all on
what.txt	2311	A Customer calls a UNIX consultant with a question:
whatami.txt	1321	This useful tool, commonly found in the range of 7 inches long, the functioning
why.txt	890	* Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
wife1.txt	905	A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office for a checkup. After
wife2.txt	866	A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed
wildlife.txt	7252	A visitor to Glacier National Park in Montana lost his car keys while
win95.txt	1546	** TOP 10 ADVERTISING SLOGANS FOR WINDOWS 95
win95code.txt	4298	Subject: *** TOP SECRET MICROSOFT CODE ***
win98code.txt	1750	/* TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code
windoze.txt	2676	/* TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code
winerr.txt	3081	List of undocumented Windows error messages from PC Mag's web site:
winking.txt	1255	A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales
wisdom.txt	1272	Dickson's Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
wise.txt	1529	Three religious leaders (a Baptist preacher, a rabbi and a Catholic priest)
wives_inlaw.txt	728	When met by a long procession of people led by a man with a dog, Joe asked the
wolf.txt	706	Red Riding Hood is on her way to her grandmother's place when she sees a Big
woman1.txt	1155	HAZARDOUS MATERIAL: WOMAN
woman2.txt	1767	Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
woman3.txt	1301	A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and
woman4.txt	494	"TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND"
woman_said.txt	2028	You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart
womanfacts.txt	4904	41 "FACTS" ABOUT WOMEN
women_rules.txt	1404	In response to the popular "Women's 50 Rules for Men"...
wordplay.txt	2603	Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
workstation.txt	116	A bus station is where a bus stops.
worldview.txt	1551	Top 17 Programmer's Terminologies
worms.txt	1783	A man and his wife checked into a hotel for their honeymoon one warm June day.
wrong_num.txt	823	A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy
xmas.txt	3721	AN X-CHRISTMAS
xmasbug.txt	3327	The Twelve Bugs of Christmas
yankonics.txt	3935	PORTLAND, ME., Jan. 17. In a move that has surprised educators nationwide, the
yardwork.txt	706	There's this couple doing yard work and the wife stops to go up and take a
year2000.txt	3186	There was once a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. For the sake of
yes_lyrics.txt	3395	VATICAN CITY - In the first-ever union of the Word of God and the Synthesizer,
yoda.txt	1945	Y.O.D.A. (To the Village People's "Y.M.C.A.")
yoga.txt	333	A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails down to
yokelmarriage.txt	1308	Once there was a hillbilly boy who, after getting his G.E.D. (high school
zen.txt	378	So the Zen master steps up to the hot dog stand and says: