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| Filename |
Size |
Description |
| 1-liners1.txt |
968 |
I love deadlines. Especially the whooshing sound they make as they go flying
|
| 1-liners2.txt |
1601 |
What is a Yankee?
|
| 12days.txt |
6386 |
On the Twelfth Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
|
| 12th.txt |
1419 |
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my
|
| 1752.txt |
3383 |
Try 'cal 9 1752' on any machine running UNIX operating system. The output
|
| 2.5thbase.txt |
708 |
WASHINGTON, DC - Adolescents across the nation were thrilled by the U.S.
|
| 4-letter.txt |
994 |
This young couple got married and went on a cruise for their honeymoon. When
|
| 50inches.txt |
2164 |
A man with a 50 inch long dick goes to his doctor to complain that he is
|
| abby.txt |
4953 |
DEAR ABBY: A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a
|
| abstain.txt |
1440 |
Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newly-wed
|
| accountant.txt |
1331 |
What's the definition of an accountant?
|
| acronyms.txt |
566 |
MBA = Mediocre But Arrogant
|
| actionfilms.txt |
3376 |
20 things guys learn from action films:
|
| ad.txt |
762 |
Once this woman placed an ad in the local newspaper looking for a suitable
|
| adders.txt |
614 |
OK, so Noah's landed the ark and is letting all the critters go free,
|
| addict.txt |
1364 |
The Top 17 Signs You're Addicted to the Internet
|
| adidas.txt |
736 |
A woman is picked up by a basketball player in a bar. They like each other
|
| ads.txt |
1556 |
Silly quotes from actual consumer product packages and instructions,
|
| affair.txt |
892 |
A married man and his secretary were having a torrid affair. One afternoon
|
| afterlife1.txt |
1115 |
Two lovers interested in spiritualism and reincarnation vowed that if either
|
| afterlife2.txt |
779 |
A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on
|
| age.txt |
1185 |
A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and
|
| age_bit.txt |
1285 |
Sunnyvale, CA. Nubility, Inc. is pleased to announce the availability of
|
| ages.txt |
625 |
The Ages of Woman:
|
| aids.txt |
1752 |
MASTURBATION AIDS:
|
| air_call.txt |
5773 |
Reservations of an Airline Agent (After Surviving 130,000 Calls from the
|
| air_job.txt |
1356 |
A friend of a guy in the Nutrition School at Tufts was one of the lucky
|
| airbag.txt |
3216 |
DETROIT - With third-quarter sales sluggish and its share of the domestic
|
| airline_humor.txt |
4350 |
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety
|
| airports.txt |
1498 |
What really happens at US airports...
|
| alcohol.txt |
4831 |
SCIENTISTS HAVE DISCOVERED BEER IN SPACE
|
| aliens.txt |
2217 |
How to Spot Aliens at Work
|
| all_same.txt |
1178 |
A Chinese went to a bar to have some drinks. At the counter he sat next to a
|
| ambiguous.txt |
2407 |
AMBIGUOUS ADS FROM NEWSPAPERS
|
| anagrams.txt |
911 |
Dormitory = Dirty Room
|
| analogy.txt |
2961 |
Analogies You Probably Won't Find in Great Literature:
|
| angel.txt |
1222 |
*
|
| angry.txt |
700 |
A woman went to her psychiatrist because she was having severe problems with
|
| animal-game.txt |
1477 |
The following is a table of eight different set of animals. In each box, a
|
| animals.txt |
615 |
There's this kid who lives on a farm. He comes home from school in a really
|
| animation.txt |
52992 |
Keep pressing the space bar and you will see...
|
| annoy1.txt |
2629 |
32 WAYS TO ANNOY
|
| annoy2.txt |
4201 |
Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
|
| answmach.txt |
16881 |
Hi. Now you say something.
|
| ant.txt |
2992 |
The Ant and The Grasshopper
|
| aol_disk.txt |
5592 |
1. Mini cutting board (Great for the office or the car. Use metal door for
|
| aol_hacker.txt |
3828 |
Read Newfpyr's masterful turning of the tables on a hacker...
|
| aolcalls.txt |
1658 |
AOL Timing-Out Messages
|
| aprilf.txt |
371 |
Some versions of UNIX have been found unable to process pseudo-complex
|
| argue.txt |
4013 |
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on
|
| asian.txt |
5128 |
You know you're Asian if...
|
| ass1.txt |
547 |
An attractive but "ample" woman was setting at a bar when a lounge lizard type
|
| ass2.txt |
643 |
We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where :)
|
| asshair.txt |
5127 |
I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to
|
| assholes1.txt |
913 |
A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children, trying to
|
| assholes2.txt |
954 |
Olaf died in a fire and his body was so badly burned that the morgue needed
|
| astrology.txt |
2996 |
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
|
| awesome3some.txt |
1413 |
Charlie and Audrey are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
|
| babies.txt |
919 |
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into
|
| bad-nuns.txt |
998 |
Nuns are admitted to Heaven through a special gate and are expected to make one
|
| bad.txt |
5225 |
I often stand and meditate,
|
| bad_death.txt |
2561 |
Three men stand before St. Peter awaiting admission into Heaven. However, St.
|
| bad_luck1.txt |
5505 |
* A fierce gust of wind blew 45-year-old Vittorio Luise's car into a river near
|
| bad_luck2.txt |
1435 |
A man was walking across the road when he met an accident. The impact was on
|
| bad_reso.txt |
994 |
TOP TEN RESOLUTIONS YOU WON'T KEEP
|
| bad_resume.txt |
4747 |
The Perverse Guide To Getting Hired
|
| bad_sex.txt |
577 |
A Woman on her deathbed felt a need to confess to her husband regarding a
|
| bad_slogan.txt |
987 |
The Top 15 Slogans That Never Quite Caught On
|
| bad_xmas.txt |
775 |
T'was The Night Before Christmas
|
| badbee.txt |
1841 |
One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love.
|
| baldeagle.txt |
1642 |
A man is caught by a forest ranger sitting at a makeshift campfire, and, to the
|
| balls1.txt |
2794 |
A little old lady entered the main branch of the Chase Manhattan bank with a
|
| balls2.txt |
557 |
THE NEXT TIME YOU GET PULLED OVER BY THE CHP (California Highway Patrol)
|
| banta.txt |
809 |
There are these three guys, a Surd, an Italian, and a Jewish guy.
|
| baptist.txt |
1021 |
The Top 15 Other Boycotts of the Southern Baptists
|
| bar.txt |
2020 |
Termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
|
| barbie1.txt |
753 |
Ralph was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it's his
|
| barbie2.txt |
2381 |
Barbie's X'mas letter to Santa
|
| barnydie.txt |
5842 |
118 ways Barney should die
|
| barry_2000.txt |
5085 |
Getting the Bugs Out by DAVE BARRY
|
| barry_taxes.txt |
953 |
You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form. The short
|
| barry_women.txt |
4371 |
Just Her Size by DAVE BARRY
|
| barspeak.txt |
1735 |
So occasionally you go to the neighborhood bar or pub and hang out. Did you
|
| baseball.txt |
926 |
Punchlines to Dirty Baseball Jokes (Presented by the San Francisco Giants)
|
| bastard.txt |
685 |
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this
|
| bathroom1.txt |
2470 |
48 Things To Do In a Public Restroom:
|
| bathroom2.txt |
1628 |
BATHROOM QUOTES
|
| bathroom3.txt |
2010 |
20 Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmate
|
| bay_area.txt |
2189 |
You know you are from the Bay Area when...
|
| be4_after.txt |
1534 |
Before and After You Fall In Love
|
| beatles.txt |
2034 |
Let It Be
|
| bedroomgolf.txt |
2593 |
Rules For Bedroom Golf
|
| beer_jesus.txt |
683 |
Top Ten Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus
|
| beer_woman.txt |
1275 |
25 GOOD REASONS WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN WOMEN
|
| beerhistory.txt |
2448 |
It was the accepted practice in Babylonia 4,000 years ago that for a month
|
| befuddle.txt |
9385 |
BEFUDDLED PC USERS FLOOD HELP LINES, AND NO QUESTION SEEMS TO BE TOO BASIC
|
| benched.txt |
4704 |
My girlfriend always seemed to enjoy seeing just how much she could get away
|
| berkeley1.txt |
3484 |
me: That's a mighty big meal you ordered there, Dan.
|
| berkeley2.txt |
2045 |
How to Cook a Berkeley Student
|
| bestwishes.txt |
1758 |
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an
|
| bet.txt |
557 |
A deaf-mute walks into a pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty
|
| better.txt |
791 |
Little Johnny and Jane are playing in the garden when they start having an
|
| bible.txt |
2227 |
[The bloopers found below are said to be written by actual students and are
|
| bible_wife.txt |
1984 |
The Top 16 Biblical Ways to Acquire a Wife
|
| bicycle.txt |
1578 |
24 Reasons That Bicycles Are Better Than Your Mate
|
| biggame.txt |
961 |
One day the big animals and the little animals decided to have a football game.
|
| bigquestion.txt |
463 |
The moon shown silver on the waters of the lake, and the waves that were
|
| bikemean.txt |
3153 |
It comes from a column in Bicycling mag entitled "parlez-vous bike? - What
|
| bill_2.txt |
4436 |
The following is a *true* story. It amused the hell out of me while it was
|
| billhill.txt |
984 |
Bill Clinton was walking along the beach when he stumbled upon a Genie's lamp.
|
| biology.txt |
847 |
Mr. Perkins, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girls' junior college,
|
| birdie.txt |
831 |
Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl
|
| bittertruth.txt |
2729 |
The bitter truth...
|
| blackhole.txt |
1390 |
Two guys are walking through the woods and come across this big deep hole.
|
| blind.txt |
1009 |
A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school's soccer team to an
|
| blond1.txt |
2871 |
Q: What do you call a dead blond in a closet?
|
| blond2.txt |
728 |
A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator,
|
| blond3.txt |
835 |
A blond, a brunette, and a red head all tried out for the same job as road
|
| blond4.txt |
608 |
A blonde and a brunette were watching the 11:00 news. The current news story
|
| blond5.txt |
625 |
There is a brunette, redhead, and a blonde being held captive and they are all
|
| blond6.txt |
1209 |
She was sooooo blonde that...
|
| blond7.txt |
588 |
There are three blonde women stranded on an island.
|
| blood.txt |
400 |
God says to Adam, "I have some good news and some bad news. What do you want
|
| blowjob.txt |
499 |
A man walked into a bar and ordered ten pints of Guinness, which he proceeded
|
| bob.txt |
984 |
A man and his wife were celebrating their 25th wedding anniverasary, and the
|
| bobbit1.txt |
1414 |
The Battle of the Bobbit Hillbillies
|
| bobbit2.txt |
754 |
John Bobbit's Prayer
|
| bodypart.txt |
271 |
Police in New Jersey arrested a man they caught dumping 10 bags of human body
|
| boob.txt |
1347 |
So this guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and his friend's
|
| booklines.txt |
1958 |
The Edward Bulwar Lytton prize is awarded every year to the author of the
|
| bootit.txt |
1605 |
B O O T I T
|
| boss1.txt |
1649 |
Quote from a recent meeting: "We are going to continue having these meetings
|
| boss2.txt |
764 |
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three
|
| bosstalk.txt |
5149 |
EMPLOYER TALK
|
| bovine.txt |
746 |
A farmer needs a bull to service his cows, but needs to borrow the money. The
|
| brains.txt |
677 |
A man and his wife celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary by staying at the
|
| bran.txt |
1642 |
This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car
|
| bratype.txt |
624 |
A man walks into the woman's section of a department store and tells the
|
| breakup.txt |
2486 |
BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO... especially when you share the same major.
|
| breasts.txt |
678 |
There was this woman with huge breasts who was always being harassed and
|
| breathalyzer1.txt |
1562 |
One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He
|
| breathalyzer2.txt |
1123 |
Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loves to charge around the
|
| bride.txt |
7723 |
INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE
|
| british.txt |
2127 |
DUBIOUS ACHEIVEMENT AWARDS - BRITISH DIVISION
|
| buffalo.txt |
1514 |
Who said you needed a brain to write about science?
|
| bulbsigns.txt |
1351 |
How many members of your sign does it take to change a light bulb?
|
| bulls.txt |
794 |
An American tourist walked in to a traditional restaurant in Spain. When he
|
| bumpers1.txt |
20080 |
-----------------------------------------------------
|
| bumpers2.txt |
901 |
HUMOROUS BUMPER STICKERS
|
| bumpers_xtrm.txt |
914 |
Extreme Bumper Stickers
|
| c+-.txt |
2481 |
Announcing the new language "C+-" (Pronounced "C more or less")
|
| cab.txt |
1319 |
A guy stumbles out of a hotel in Las Vegas. Down to his last few dollars, he
|
| cabby.txt |
870 |
A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter,
|
| cakes_ale.txt |
956 |
Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It
|
| call_mom.txt |
588 |
A young blonde walks into the World Wide Message Center and says, "I would
|
| callin_sick.txt |
3452 |
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable because no matter how legitimate
|
| camel.txt |
979 |
A young man joins the foreign legion, and is posted deep in the heart of
|
| camelcig.txt |
891 |
Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette.
|
| candybar.txt |
1449 |
It was another PAYDAY and I was tired of MR. GOODBAR. I saw Miss HERSHEY
|
| capitals.txt |
664 |
A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb
|
| car_ass.txt |
1468 |
Justification for Automotive Assassination
|
| car_os.txt |
2923 |
What would driving to the grocery store be like if operating systems ran your
|
| cards.txt |
1196 |
GREETING CARDS UNSUCCESSFULLY MARKETED BY HALLMARK
|
| cars.txt |
1250 |
Canonical List of Automobile Acronyms
|
| cartoon.txt |
2611 |
10 WORST CARTOON CHARACTERS OF ALL TIME
|
| cat_bath.txt |
4589 |
CAT BATHING AS A MARTIAL ART
|
| cat_butter.txt |
1928 |
This question was posed to the Usenet Oracle:
|
| cat_milk.txt |
1175 |
Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her pet cat lying on the ground
|
| cat_rules.txt |
2590 |
Basic Rules for Cats Who Have a House to Run
|
| cat_tree1.txt |
1320 |
There is a small rural town, somewhat northeast to the city of Niagara Falls,
|
| cat_tree2.txt |
1346 |
Problem: A cat is in a tree and it won't come down. Explain briefly how you
|
| caught.txt |
1605 |
WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU ARE CAUGHT LOOKING AT ANOTHER WOMAN
|
| celebrate.txt |
894 |
The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception
|
| ceo.txt |
1199 |
A CEO-type is in the hospital, being treated for a minor problem. For a week
|
| ch_zodiac.txt |
8308 |
(Chinese Love Signs by Neil Somerville)
|
| chain_letters.txt |
5138 |
Okay, okay. I know how much all of you absolutely hate chain letters so here
|
| charms.txt |
3351 |
An amazing new study shows that your favorite Lucky Charms marshmallow bit
|
| cheap.txt |
1490 |
One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God,
|
| cheat.txt |
792 |
There was a guy who was working as a teaching assistant for a large lecture
|
| checks.txt |
1714 |
A very wealthy man, old and desperately ill, summons to his bedside his three
|
| checkup.txt |
997 |
A doctor visits a girls' college to do medical checkup. The first girl comes
|
| chelsea.txt |
680 |
10. Bitchin' motorcade from history class to language lab
|
| chicken1.txt |
1121 |
"Meat & Poultry" magazine, editors quoted from "Feathers," the publication of
|
| chicken2.txt |
3613 |
A while back, someone asked how many generic chickens would fit into a generic
|
| chicken_egg.txt |
238 |
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
|
| chicken_road.txt |
2618 |
Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road?
|
| childhood.txt |
1352 |
You know you are no longer a kid when...
|
| chinese1.txt |
2110 |
Suc Mi Pagoda
|
| chinese2.txt |
1419 |
CHINESE PHRASE ENGLISH TRANSLATION
|
| chinese3.txt |
11308 |
101+ Ways to Tell if You Are Chinese
|
| chinesePres.txt |
591 |
Top ten reasons why there won't be a Chinese American President any time soon:
|
| chocolate.txt |
1274 |
TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
|
| choke.txt |
731 |
A woman is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a spongebath. One of
|
| church1.txt |
1847 |
15 ACTUAL ANNOUNCEMENTS TAKEN FROM CHURCH BULLETINS
|
| church2.txt |
2295 |
Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: "The
|
| chute.txt |
1540 |
One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New
|
| cia.txt |
1532 |
These three men are going through CIA training, trying to become secret
|
| cinderella.txt |
1764 |
We all know how Cinderella wanted to go to the ball but her wicked stepmother
|
| classes.txt |
4796 |
CLASSES FOR MEN
|
| cleaning.txt |
10066 |
The Domestic Side of Guys
|
| clinton1.txt |
1084 |
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if
|
| clinton2.txt |
1669 |
Overheard at the White House Super Bowl XXXII party:
|
| clinton3.txt |
1503 |
Police in Washington, D.C. are passing out flyers, warning citizens that a
|
| clintonNixon.txt |
1129 |
Similarities between Nixon and Clinton...
|
| clintontrashing.txt |
1140 |
Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible fight. "I am the
|
| clock.txt |
1191 |
A guy dies and goes to heaven. It's a slow day for St. Peter, so upon passing
|
| clothes.txt |
3358 |
We all know that men are not quite as adept at fashion as women. In fact guys
|
| clown.txt |
1532 |
The Top 18 Signs You've Hired the Wrong Clown for Your Child's Party
|
| cobblestones.txt |
362 |
Two Dutch girls are riding their old rickety bikes down the back streets of
|
| cockroach1.txt |
796 |
Cockroach Slain, Husband Badly Hurt
|
| cockroach2.txt |
6467 |
======================================================================
|
| coffee1.txt |
7019 |
In October 1992, the ABU support team in Bellevue sent care packages of
|
| coffee2.txt |
2315 |
WHY COFFEE IS BETTER THAN WOMEN
|
| coffeemantra.txt |
626 |
THE JOY OF COFFEE
|
| coincidence.txt |
1574 |
Described below is not a Joke, but something to ponder upon and wonder whether
|
| cold1.txt |
1975 |
HOW COLD IS IT?
|
| cold2.txt |
978 |
A family of polar bears is walking along at the North Pole, when the baby bear
|
| collection.txt |
8297 |
True Fact: There is a town in Newfoundland, Canada called Dildo. [Population:
|
| college.txt |
672 |
A father scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebeled against his
|
| colors.txt |
301 |
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother,
|
| comeback.txt |
994 |
B: I know how to please a woman.
|
| comgendr.txt |
1128 |
Top 10 reasons computers are male
|
| coming1.txt |
1304 |
Dec Rourke rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his
|
| coming2.txt |
558 |
As the truck driver came flying over the top of a steep hill, he spotted two
|
| comments.txt |
2245 |
The Best and Worst Comments Received
|
| common.txt |
12003 |
Commonly asked questions... and their answers (?)
|
| communi.txt |
1563 |
Here's the latest news in the world of hi tech business...
|
| comp_sci.txt |
748 |
There are four engineers travelling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a
|
| comp_tag.txt |
1409 |
E Pluribus Modem
|
| compbilly.txt |
1575 |
The Computer Hillbillies
|
| complex_women.txt |
1622 |
WOMEN ARE COMPLEX CREATURES...
|
| comvocab.txt |
2622 |
Improve Your Computer Vocabulary
|
| condom1.txt |
1227 |
Condom Slogans
|
| condom2.txt |
1670 |
This guy is at the supermarket and after picking up a few things he queues in
|
| confucius.txt |
4457 |
Canonical Collection of "CONFUCIUS SAY" Wisdom
|
| conservative.txt |
2974 |
You Might Be a Conservative If...
|
| conspiracy.txt |
522 |
The second attack on Iraq - Explained
|
| constipation.txt |
941 |
PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his
|
| consultant.txt |
5263 |
YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN A CONSULTANT FOR TOO LONG WHEN...
|
| consumer.txt |
6544 |
Selecting a Girlfriend
|
| contraception.txt |
2354 |
Birth Control Jelly - Grape Flavored?
|
| contractor.txt |
1236 |
A tourist walks into a pet shop in Silicon Valley, and is browsing around the
|
| cookie.txt |
306 |
A little girl was getting a haircut from a barber, who gave her a cookie to
|
| copier.txt |
398 |
The boss was standing in front of the paper shredder with a confused look on
|
| core.txt |
747 |
Well, my terminal's locked up, and I ain't got any Mail,
|
| corrupt.txt |
1584 |
My boy Leroy, son of a preacher man.
|
| counting.txt |
1341 |
Two farmers are shooting the shit out in the fields. The first farmer starts
|
| country.txt |
2478 |
THE FUNNIEST LINES IN COUNTRY MUSIC - 1994
|
| cowboy.txt |
1453 |
A cowboy is riding across the plains of the old west, when he is captured by
|
| cowboys.txt |
743 |
Top Ten Good Things About The Dallas Cowboys...
|
| cows1.txt |
480 |
- Two cows were standing in a field. One of them goes: "Mooooooo!"
|
| cows2.txt |
6497 |
(__) (__) (__) (__)
|
| cows_soc.txt |
2186 |
FEUDALISM
|
| crash.txt |
1092 |
A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are
|
| crazy.txt |
3014 |
WOMEN'S GUIDE TO DRIVING MEN CRAZY
|
| creation.txt |
4898 |
In The Beginning...
|
| criminals.txt |
2869 |
THE CRIMINAL MIND AT WORK
|
| cukes.txt |
3905 |
All reasons cucumbers are better than men:
|
| cultist.txt |
3406 |
HOW TO BE A CULTIST
|
| cupholdr.txt |
877 |
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
|
| curses.txt |
886 |
A 7-year-old and his 4-year-old brother are upstairs in their bedroom. The 7-
|
| custer.txt |
944 |
The curator of a Western art museum commissioned a local artist to paint a
|
| cutdick.txt |
9123 |
If you don't believe this can work... Read the letters after the intructions!
|
| cybersex.txt |
6608 |
REAL LIFE CYBER SEX
|
| czech.txt |
1033 |
Through the center of Czechoslovakia there's a train speeding along. In one
|
| dallas.txt |
1137 |
Dallas
|
| damnation.txt |
627 |
Guy goes to hell and is met by the devil, who explains that the punishments are
|
| darksuck.txt |
2792 |
The Dark Sucker Theory
|
| darwin1.txt |
5723 |
You may recall last year's Darwin Award winner: The man who found out moments
|
| darwin2.txt |
3502 |
Now HERE is a canidate for the Darwin Award.
|
| darwin3.txt |
3813 |
DARWIN AWARD WINNER FOR 1997 ANNOUNCED
|
| dating1.txt |
2023 |
The Heuristic Squelch Dating Guide
|
| dating2.txt |
1479 |
DATING: The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to
|
| dating_app.txt |
4352 |
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
|
| dead.txt |
2039 |
Dear Employees,
|
| deadbaby.txt |
586 |
A woman was lying in her hospital bed recuperating after an intense 12 hour
|
| deadly.txt |
1028 |
A freshman at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho
|
| deaf.txt |
1646 |
There were two deaf mutes standing on a street corner talking to each other
|
| death1.txt |
1604 |
A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a
|
| death2.txt |
4229 |
How Not To Die: The Dumbest Deaths in Recorded History
|
| deathwish.txt |
562 |
3 buddies die in a car crash. They go to heaven to an orientation.
|
| decoy.txt |
560 |
A cop is staking out a bar for drunk drivers. At closing time, he sees a guy
|
| definitions.txt |
1425 |
Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods
|
| defs1.txt |
2313 |
1. Wants & needs (wontz and nedz) n.
|
| defs2.txt |
1183 |
Father : A banker provided by nature.
|
| demo.txt |
1824 |
A software engineer met his end and found himself at the Pearly Gates. The
|
| democracy.txt |
2518 |
What Democracy Means to Me
|
| dentist1.txt |
1177 |
A NAUGHTY LITTLE POEM
|
| dentist2.txt |
755 |
A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really well they
|
| desperation.txt |
508 |
Burford is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real
|
| dhmo.txt |
2742 |
The Invisible Killer
|
| dicka.txt |
191 |
This is the result of a programmer who didn't check his spelling before
|
| dietcoke.txt |
1441 |
16 Reasons Why a Diet Coke is Better Than a Man
|
| diffs.txt |
1693 |
What is a difference between
|
| dilbert.txt |
5794 |
Men who use computers are the new sex symbols of the 90's
|
| dilbert_boss.txt |
3745 |
A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert quotes" contest. They were looking for
|
| disturb.txt |
2041 |
TOP 10 WAYS TO SERIOUSLY DISTURB YOUR OFFICE-MATES
|
| doctor.txt |
2828 |
What the Doctor says
|
| dog_comp.txt |
1314 |
*** Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computers ***
|
| dog_tele.txt |
1245 |
It's common practice in England to ring a telephone by signaling extra voltage
|
| dogattack.txt |
1014 |
Two boys are playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a
|
| dogfight.txt |
1897 |
A man walks into a bar one night and sees three jars of money on a shelf on
|
| doglife.txt |
1650 |
ALL I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE... I learned from my dog!
|
| donation.txt |
570 |
A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.
|
| donkey.txt |
980 |
It seems that when God was making the world, he called man over and bestowed
|
| dontsay.txt |
4971 |
THINGS NOT TO SAY WHEN IT'S GETTING STEAMY
|
| doughboy.txt |
798 |
NOTED DOUGH BOY DIES
|
| dr_ruth.txt |
391 |
Dear Dr. Ruth:
|
| dracula.txt |
1702 |
Dracula was killed one day and up he went to the Pearly Gates to meet God. God
|
| drawl.txt |
3082 |
AWL
|
| drinking.txt |
1029 |
The teacher asked all the children to tell a story with a moral to it.
|
| drivers.txt |
1533 |
How to Find the Driver's State
|
| driving.txt |
1255 |
The following test questions from a California remedial driver-training class
|
| drugs.txt |
1215 |
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in
|
| drugs_software.txt |
1394 |
Subject: Drug Dealers vs. Software Developers
|
| drunk1.txt |
889 |
Dan is in a bar and he has had quite a few already. At two o'clock, last round
|
| drunk2.txt |
930 |
A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer. The following
|
| drunk3.txt |
912 |
A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking
|
| drunkenness.txt |
2860 |
THE FIVE STAGES OF DRUNKENNESS
|
| dt.txt |
9518 |
DEEP THOUGHTS (BY JACK HANDEY)
|
| duhs.txt |
1285 |
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If
|
| dumb_doc.txt |
1679 |
EMERGENCY ROOM RECEPTIONISTS, AND (WE ARE AFRAID) A DOCTOR OR TWO AT MAJOR
|
| dumb_horse.txt |
677 |
There was this preacher who decided to sell his horse. A prospective buyer was
|
| dumb_pug.txt |
4347 |
Every day, we are assaulted by stories of stupid people - many of whom use
|
| dumbugly.txt |
3155 |
"Good crowd. Good crowd. I'm telling you I could use a good crowd. I'm OK now
|
| dumbunny.txt |
5005 |
While driving along the back roads of a small town, two novice truckers came
|
| dysfunct.txt |
713 |
The Top 9 Indications Your Family May be Dysfunctional
|
| eagles.txt |
2047 |
"Berkeley California"
|
| eatshit.txt |
454 |
One day a man went to see a doctor. He yelled, "Doctor, doctor, you've got to
|
| ebonics1.txt |
724 |
NEW LANGUAGES BEING TAUGHT IN OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA
|
| ebonics2.txt |
8994 |
The Official Ebonics Guide to help whitey translate the negroid-american
|
| ebonics_xmas.txt |
2077 |
An Ebonics Christmas
|
| eel.txt |
3135 |
HOW TO KILL AN EEL (a true story)
|
| egg.txt |
317 |
The Sad Life of an Egg
|
| electron.txt |
1625 |
The Sex Life Of an Electron
|
| elements.txt |
1510 |
In a recent contest, The Washington Post asked readers to dream up new elements
|
| elephant1.txt |
4654 |
HOW TO HUNT ELEPHANTS ---
|
| elephant2.txt |
1237 |
A young boy and his parents went to the Zoo one sunny Saturday. They saw the
|
| ellen.txt |
1341 |
The Top 15 Surprises on the Special Episode of "Ellen"
|
| emacs.txt |
2494 |
Found this in the standard Emacs distribution... Don't ask. I don't know.
|
| email_dick.txt |
1096 |
Top 10 Reasons Why E-Mail is Like a Male Reproductive Organ:
|
| embarassing1.txt |
2566 |
The following are the first three winners of a Most Embarrassing Moment's
|
| embarassing2.txt |
1838 |
In Melbourne, Fl. one of the radio stations paid money ($100-$500) for people
|
| emoti-asses.txt |
822 |
Emote-Asses!
|
| emoti-boobies.txt |
801 |
First, there were :) smiley emoticons.
|
| employee.txt |
2852 |
TECHNIQUES ON BEING AN EFFECTIVE EMPLOYEE
|
| end_all.txt |
345 |
Is this what our lives have ultimately come to?
|
| engineer1.txt |
921 |
Today they're leading a priest, a drunkard and an engineer to the guillotine.
|
| engineer2.txt |
558 |
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better
|
| engineer3.txt |
1146 |
TOP TEN REASONS TO DATE AN ENGINEER:
|
| engineer4.txt |
428 |
Two engineering students meet on campus one day.
|
| english1.txt |
2282 |
40 Tips for Proper English
|
| english2.txt |
2938 |
The following appeared recently in the Pet Market section of the Anderson SC
|
| english3.txt |
4494 |
The World According to Student Bloopers Richard Lederer St. Paul's School
|
| english4.txt |
3299 |
English is the most widely used language in the history of our planet. One in
|
| engr_dog.txt |
1085 |
A hard-working engineer finally took a vacation. While hiking in the
|
| engr_husband.txt |
939 |
The Top 11 Reasons Engineers Make Better Husbands
|
| engr_recipe.txt |
1589 |
Why Engineers Don't Write Recipe Books
|
| engrtest.txt |
4935 |
TEST FOR FIELD ENGINEERS
|
| epa.txt |
1005 |
The EPA has made illegal carrying certain flammable substances in your
|
| estrosterone.txt |
9161 |
WOMEN SPEAK IN ESTROGEN AND MEN LISTEN IN TESTOSTERONE
|
| exam.txt |
1988 |
Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught for about a zillion years by
|
| exam_fun.txt |
7050 |
Fifty Fun Things To Do During A Final That You Know You Are Going To Fail!
|
| excuses.txt |
1925 |
THE FOLLOWING IS A PARTIAL LIST OF ACTUAL WRITTEN EXCUSES GIVEN TO TEACHERS IN
|
| ezekiel.txt |
510 |
Ezekiel 25:17
|
| facelift.txt |
999 |
A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift.
|
| factoids.txt |
634 |
* "Stewardesses" is the longest English-language word that is typed with only
|
| facts1.txt |
6902 |
Everybody knows that February is the shortest month, but what's the longest?
|
| facts2.txt |
5476 |
AMUSING IRRELEVANT FACTS
|
| facts3.txt |
3667 |
Useless But Interesting Facts:
|
| faith.txt |
1355 |
There are three men all waiting at the pearlly gates and St. Peter comes to
|
| fallen.txt |
952 |
There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept
|
| family.txt |
1282 |
Family tree
|
| farmers.txt |
1537 |
A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road in her new sports car
|
| fart.txt |
1256 |
FARTOLOGY
|
| father.txt |
1141 |
A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered.
|
| fbi.txt |
1867 |
The following is a direct quote from the Center for Strategic and International
|
| fbits.txt |
1044 |
The following quote is from page 4-27 of the MSCP Basic Disk Functions Manual
|
| fem_instruct.txt |
2076 |
A Women's Little Instruction Book
|
| fem_life.txt |
438 |
THE DOCTOR.........because he says "Take your clothes off!"
|
| fencing.txt |
925 |
A man walked into the drug store and shyly asked the pretty girl behind the
|
| finals.txt |
2536 |
Finals. Finals. Finals.. Finals. Finals. Finals. Finals. Finals.
|
| fire.txt |
728 |
A man who worked for the fire department came home from work and told his wife,
|
| fired.txt |
1731 |
Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that
|
| first.txt |
1043 |
MY FIRST TIME EVER
|
| first_prize.txt |
563 |
A drunk Scotsman was walking home from the local pub one night and passed out
|
| fishing.txt |
1427 |
One day, a young man goes to apply for a sales job at a major department store.
|
| florist1.txt |
764 |
Some friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small
|
| florist2.txt |
569 |
A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him
|
| flubs.txt |
4686 |
"And they said it couldn't be done"
|
| fluctuations.txt |
355 |
A chinese man at the Foriegn Exchange counter in London:
|
| flush.txt |
985 |
Lady Diana and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before St.
|
| fly1.txt |
1493 |
Have you heard of the Fish and the Fly? There is a body of water with a fish
|
| fly2.txt |
1871 |
A blue-bottle fly was buzzing down the river and a salmon swimming in the
|
| flying.txt |
2753 |
WEEK 1
|
| football.txt |
5628 |
Do you remember junior high and High school? Do you remember talking about
|
| ford_adam.txt |
1015 |
Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, the guy tells Ford, "Well,
|
| forgetful.txt |
1321 |
An 85-year-old man marries a lovely 25-year-old woman. Because her new husband
|
| frank.txt |
778 |
Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his
|
| freezing.txt |
754 |
Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When
|
| friend.txt |
3832 |
MANAGED CARING PLAN
|
| frog.txt |
1273 |
A young boy walks into a whorehouse dragging a crushed frog on a string. He
|
| frogtalk.txt |
888 |
A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If
|
| fuck.txt |
3036 |
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language
|
| fun_news.txt |
5358 |
A Florida chapter of the Ku Klux Klan is threatening to sue after being
|
| funds.txt |
487 |
Dear Dad,
|
| fuse.txt |
848 |
A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of
|
| fuzzy.txt |
1814 |
These are responses to a contest sponsored by OMNI magazine:
|
| game.txt |
2543 |
There were once two people travelling on a train, a scientist and a poet, who
|
| gardening.txt |
770 |
There was a beautiful woman who loved to work in her vegetable garden. No
|
| gates.txt |
8876 |
Bill Gates died and, much to everyone's surprise, went to Heaven. When he got
|
| gates_redneck.txt |
1772 |
THE TOP 25 THINGS THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT IF BILL GATES WERE A REDNECK
|
| gates_wealth.txt |
3070 |
Bill Gates Wealth Index
|
| gayguy_great.txt |
5680 |
100 reasons it's great to be a gay guy
|
| gayrooster.txt |
2155 |
An old farmer decides it's time to get a new rooster for his hens. The
|
| geek.txt |
1474 |
Question: When bumping into an old geek, should one
|
| geese.txt |
2704 |
T H E S E N S E O F T H E G O O S E
|
| genderquotes.txt |
2087 |
MEN & WOMEN - GENDER-BIASED QUOTES
|
| genie1.txt |
1479 |
Three friends, Fred, Tommy, and Elmo, were shipwrecked on a tropical isle.
|
| genie2.txt |
2148 |
This guy was walking along the beach in Malibu when he came across this salt-
|
| genie3.txt |
1860 |
A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with
|
| genius.txt |
3968 |
Human "genius" at work:
|
| gerbil.txt |
3291 |
Actually from the LA Times...
|
| germengl.txt |
2186 |
Having chosen English as the preferred language, the European Parliament has
|
| gherkin.txt |
5791 |
The Canonical List of Different Ways to Say "Masturbation"
|
| girl_great.txt |
6182 |
100 reasons why it's great to be a girl:
|
| girlfriend.txt |
1359 |
Girlfriend 4.0
|
| god1.txt |
741 |
A man was wondering in the woods pondering all the questions of life, universe,
|
| god2.txt |
3058 |
SOME IMPORTANT THEOLOGICAL QUESTIONS ARE ANSWERED IF WE THINK OF GOD AS A
|
| god_comp.txt |
1775 |
In the beginning, God created the bit. And the bit was a zero.
|
| god_said.txt |
2194 |
A man lives in a house and the river starts to rise. He cannot get his car
|
| god_tax.txt |
742 |
A little boy wanted $100.00 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing
|
| god_test.txt |
3149 |
ARE YOU A GOD? Take this simple test and find out.
|
| god_w95.txt |
1028 |
Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin, and Bill Gates were called in by God. God
|
| goddamn.txt |
1294 |
One day a nun was fishing and caught a huge fish for supper. A man was walking
|
| golden.txt |
1047 |
A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is
|
| golf-skydiver.txt |
130 |
What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
|
| golf1.txt |
1368 |
These four gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in
|
| golf2.txt |
993 |
A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them is playing as
|
| golf3.txt |
649 |
A golfer and his buddies where playing a big round of golf for $200. At the
|
| golfdanger.txt |
1305 |
Golf is a dangerous sport! This is a true story from Palm Beach Florida. The
|
| golfgirl.txt |
1099 |
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of
|
| gomer.txt |
614 |
Gomer lives on a farm, and he knows nothing about women or sex, so for his
|
| good_bad.txt |
2036 |
GOOD * BAD * WORSE
|
| goodtimes.txt |
1790 |
The Goodtimes Email Virus
|
| gopher.txt |
2719 |
From a recent Dave Barry column...
|
| gorilla.txt |
426 |
A hunter in Uganda is being sought by local authorities for illegally hunting
|
| gorsky.txt |
727 |
It seems when Armstrong walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "One
|
| grad.txt |
1251 |
You just might be a grad student if:
|
| grades.txt |
3299 |
UNIVERSAL GRADE CHANGE FORM
|
| greenman.txt |
1216 |
There once was a little green man living in a little green house on the top of
|
| gross.txt |
964 |
Helen's husband had a terrible habit of letting go with an absolutely GIGANTIC
|
| grown-up.txt |
789 |
The kindergartners were now in the first grade. Their teacher wanted them to be
|
| growth.txt |
2941 |
Personal Growth
|
| guardian.txt |
632 |
A man was walking down a street when he heard a voice shout at him, "Stop!
|
| guilt.txt |
1259 |
Scene: A court room in Oklahoma where a person is on trial for murder. There
|
| guiness.txt |
577 |
One fine day, an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub
|
| guvment.txt |
1413 |
Son: "Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a
|
| guy_great.txt |
5700 |
100 reasons it's great to be a guy
|
| guy_means.txt |
2178 |
WHAT A GUY REALLY MEANS...
|
| guyness.txt |
5575 |
Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient
|
| habits.txt |
1135 |
YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER TOO LONG...
|
| haiku.txt |
3667 |
If Computers Wrote Error Message In Haiku
|
| haircut.txt |
1084 |
Women's version:
|
| halloween1.txt |
2910 |
* Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
|
| halloween2.txt |
2879 |
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit.
|
| handyman.txt |
525 |
Handyman Pick-Up Lines (as presented by actor/comedian Tim Allen)
|
| happybutt.txt |
1273 |
This lovely little girl was entering class for the first time. A friendly
|
| hard.txt |
407 |
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to
|
| hare.txt |
1500 |
A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle
|
| hce.txt |
3819 |
From the WEEKLY WORLD NEWS, May 24, 1994
|
| head.txt |
924 |
Three British educational institutions were commissioned by the government to
|
| headache1.txt |
2749 |
Joe was moderately successful in the career, but as he got older he was
|
| headache2.txt |
1064 |
It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She's
|
| headline.txt |
2009 |
ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES
|
| health_warning.txt |
1425 |
If government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor,
|
| hearing.txt |
764 |
An old lady came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing
|
| heaven.txt |
2097 |
A young couple was driving down the road one day, happily, deliriously in love
|
| heavgate.txt |
132 |
Heaven's Gate - WHY
|
| hell1.txt |
1255 |
Most people think heaven is above us and hell beneath. Actually they're side
|
| hell2.txt |
2408 |
Is Hell endothermic or exothermic?
|
| hello.txt |
7434 |
The Evolution of a Programmer
|
| hemp.txt |
421 |
From humor writer Bob Wieder:
|
| hereisit.txt |
1465 |
HERE I SIT
|
| heretical.txt |
1910 |
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge,
|
| hero.txt |
579 |
I had a near death experience that has changed me forever. The other day, I
|
| herpes.txt |
770 |
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look
|
| hiding.txt |
1511 |
Queen Elizabeth and Lady Di are out for a drive in the royal car on a Sunday
|
| highway.txt |
1782 |
"There it is again. Some clueless FOOL talking about the 'Information
|
| hil_pig.txt |
527 |
President Clinton flies into Andrews AFB. The color guard is present as well
|
| hindlick.txt |
668 |
A woman goes into a restaurant in a small town out in the country. She orders
|
| hippie.txt |
1388 |
A hippie gets onto a bus and proceeds to sit next to a Nun in the front seat.
|
| hitman.txt |
1695 |
There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday. One Saturday
|
| hockey.txt |
565 |
TOP TEN REASONS HOCKEY IS BETTER THAN SEX
|
| hokeypokey.txt |
319 |
It's always difficult to bring sad news, but thought you should know...
|
| hole.txt |
986 |
A Texas business man, while in Japan for some business meetings and a few
|
| homer.txt |
4006 |
All of these are from Homer Simpson. Unfortunately, not all of them are
|
| homilies.txt |
1834 |
HOMILIES
|
| hominid.txt |
3915 |
Paleoanthropology Division
|
| hooked.txt |
1147 |
You Know You're Hooked When:
|
| hooker.txt |
449 |
A couple met at Hilton Head and fell in love. They were discussing how they
|
| hope.txt |
1039 |
CASTRO VALLEY, Calif. An American dog has received the world's first set of
|
| horror.txt |
2519 |
Dear Mother and Dad:
|
| horse.txt |
1085 |
A horse and a rabbit were frolicing in a meadow. When the horse got stuck in
|
| hostname.txt |
367 |
TOP TEN ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY RIDICULOUS HOST NAMES
|
| howtoimpress.txt |
379 |
How to impress a woman:
|
| hp.txt |
5415 |
This is the story of a different kind. No melting CPUs, no screaming disc
|
| hr_guide.txt |
1060 |
What is a human resource? Does your organization struggle with the problem of
|
| huh.txt |
1342 |
See, This morning I was driving to work when a small furry multi-legged
|
| humor1.txt |
1516 |
"In a recent survey, 86 percent of college fraternity members admitted that
|
| humor2.txt |
2040 |
A man was boasting to his friend, "You know, I am a well known collector of
|
| humor3.txt |
1106 |
Always borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect to be paid back.
|
| hunting.txt |
1410 |
There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer
|
| id4.txt |
7023 |
40 THINGS I LEARNED FROM ID4
|
| idiot.txt |
1662 |
Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the
|
| ikkystory.txt |
12134 |
A couple of days ago we decided to cruise out to Ryan's Steak House for
|
| im_a_man.txt |
2151 |
Everyday I give thanks to God
|
| im_a_woman.txt |
1901 |
I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am
|
| industry_humor.txt |
453 |
In Computer Heaven:
|
| injury.txt |
2200 |
The following is taken from a Florida newspaper:
|
| insanity.txt |
2398 |
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN THE WORKPLACE
|
| insight.txt |
1500 |
A little girl and her mother were out and about. The girl, out of the blue,
|
| installations.txt |
3957 |
"How To Install Software - A 12-Step Program"
|
| insurance1.txt |
2251 |
THE FOLLOWING ARE ACTUAL STATEMENTS FOUND ON INSURANCE FORMS WHERE AUTOMOBILE
|
| insurance2.txt |
765 |
The following is a courtroom exchange between a defense attorney and a farmer
|
| interns.txt |
3865 |
Attention SGI Interns:
|
| internship.txt |
2548 |
Greetings prospective White House interns! This year, our program is heading
|
| interpretation.txt |
1827 |
A team of archaeologists were excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave.
|
| interview1.txt |
613 |
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young
|
| interview2.txt |
2212 |
There were four guys who were in the final stages of interviewing for a
|
| interview3.txt |
3367 |
Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest
|
| interview4.txt |
1647 |
Executives were asked: "What is the most unusual thing you have ever witnessed
|
| investment.txt |
1008 |
A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer.
|
| iq.txt |
1424 |
There's these three guys and they're out having a relaxing day fishing. Out of
|
| iqtest.txt |
3838 |
DENSA IQ Test
|
| irishbash.txt |
1260 |
An Englishman, an American and an Irishman are called upon to test a lie
|
| ironic.txt |
1688 |
1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill
|
| island.txt |
1488 |
There is a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere where the
|
| isms.txt |
538 |
SOCIALISM - YOU HAVE TWO COWS, YOU GIVE ONE TO YOUR NEIGHBOR.
|
| issues.txt |
1255 |
It all really just boils down to this:
|
| italiano.txt |
1073 |
I am an Italiano.
|
| jabberwy.txt |
974 |
The Jabberwocky
|
| java.txt |
1564 |
SUN MICROSYSTEMS SUES ISLAND OF JAVA*
|
| jerk.txt |
5230 |
Now get this. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had to
|
| jerkbimb.txt |
1986 |
10 REASONS WOMEN DATE JERKS INSTEAD OF NICE GUYS
|
| jerkoff.txt |
1530 |
A man complained to his friend, "My elbow hurts. I better go to the doctor."
|
| jerkquiz.txt |
3890 |
Today's quiz is directed toward the guys. Ladies, just sing along...
|
| jesus.txt |
2008 |
The other day I went to the local religious bookstore where I saw a HONK IF
|
| jesus_elvis.txt |
2096 |
Jesus said, "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39)
|
| jesus_poem.txt |
1098 |
Did Jesus use a modem,
|
| jewpickup.txt |
1465 |
James Shapiro's Jewish Pick-up Lines:
|
| jobs.txt |
360 |
Here I sit, broken-hearted,
|
| johnny1.txt |
761 |
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked
|
| johnny2.txt |
711 |
Little Johnny comes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating
|
| johnny3.txt |
924 |
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. On this particular day, the teacher
|
| johnny4.txt |
498 |
Here we are in the classroom.
|
| johnny5.txt |
1281 |
One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit.
|
| johnny_draws.txt |
1883 |
Mrs. Smith, a third grade teacher wanted the class to play a game where one
|
| jokes1.txt |
5025 |
Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office.
|
| jokes2.txt |
1896 |
There was this construction worker, Steve, on the 3rd floor of this unfinished
|
| jokes3.txt |
2626 |
A lady says to her doctor, "My husband has been complaining that my vagina has
|
| jokes4.txt |
3253 |
It's tough being a politician. Half your reputation is ruined by lies; the
|
| jokes5.txt |
3092 |
Harry and his wife are having hard times, so they decide she'll become a
|
| joy.txt |
1415 |
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it
|
| kamasutra.txt |
22514 |
The Love Teachings of Kama Sutra
|
| keep_it_wet.txt |
1157 |
Miss Bea was in her 80's and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to
|
| kidnapper.txt |
841 |
There was a Banta Sardarji who was down on his luck. In order to raise some
|
| kids.txt |
2205 |
Kids say the darnedest things. Some grade school teachers must agree with
|
| kiss_my.txt |
1094 |
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely
|
| kitty.txt |
927 |
An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch reflecting
|
| lab.txt |
7374 |
50 Ways to Confuse, Worry, or Just Scare the Hell Out of People in the Computer
|
| labs.txt |
1300 |
There are three Labrador retrievers sitting in the waiting room at the vet's, a
|
| ladder.txt |
286 |
The Corporate Ladder:
|
| landing.txt |
1869 |
Real stories from Flight Attendants apologizing for rough transport on the
|
| landlords.txt |
1498 |
GENUINE EXCERPTS FROM LETTERS SENT TO LANDLORDS:
|
| languages1.txt |
1425 |
C - You shoot yourself in the foot.
|
| languages2.txt |
2755 |
Selecting a Programming Language Made Easy
|
| laughs1.txt |
8784 |
A young woman went into a bank to withdraw some money. "Can you identify
|
| laughs2.txt |
2136 |
Hubby: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
|
| laundry.txt |
829 |
Three women always hang their laundry out in the backyard. When it rains,
|
| law_joke.txt |
969 |
ONLY IN MERRY OLDE ENGLAND (actual trial)
|
| lawyer1.txt |
184 |
Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
|
| lawyer2.txt |
2482 |
From the Salt Lake Tribune:
|
| lawyer3.txt |
627 |
A lawyer and a Pope die at the same time and go up to heaven together. After
|
| lawyer4.txt |
3060 |
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
|
| lawyer5.txt |
512 |
A newlywed couple was on their honeymoon. Before hopping into bed, the bride
|
| lawyer6.txt |
605 |
A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner. The attorney asked,
|
| lawyer7.txt |
838 |
A rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer are in a car. They run out of gas, and are
|
| lawyer8.txt |
813 |
NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to the space station Mir. Only
|
| legend.txt |
1617 |
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and
|
| legs.txt |
1210 |
A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test
|
| length.txt |
555 |
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom
|
| leprechaun.txt |
1728 |
One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He
|
| leroy.txt |
699 |
A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked
|
| lesbian.txt |
935 |
An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps
|
| life.txt |
1283 |
A nun and a priest were halfway across the desert when they realized that the
|
| life_edu.txt |
2447 |
Sometimes it seems that what we study in college doesn't have much relation to
|
| light.txt |
2807 |
Recently I have been pestered with a series of deeply scientific questions, all
|
| light_news.txt |
2132 |
Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
|
| like_men.txt |
2310 |
25 Reasons We Like Men Just The Way They Are
|
| limerick.txt |
162 |
There once was a Scot named McAmeter
|
| lingerie1.txt |
591 |
A man walks into the women's section of a department store and tells the
|
| lingerie2.txt |
1370 |
Upon getting to work one morning, seventy-five year old Marvin is reminded by
|
| lingo.txt |
2188 |
MORE SILICON VALLEY LINGO
|
| lion_bull.txt |
482 |
A lion was stalking through the jungle one day when he came across a bull. The
|
| lipstick.txt |
940 |
A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older
|
| little_rrh.txt |
1373 |
Little Red Riding Hood was getting ready to go and visit her grandmother in the
|
| littleboy.txt |
600 |
A young boy walking home from school must pass by a group of hookers working
|
| liver.txt |
821 |
The teacher was going around the class, asking each student grammar and English
|
| long_blond.txt |
1342 |
Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells
|
| looklike.txt |
1349 |
One evening this guy comes home from work to be greeted by his wife at the
|
| looks.txt |
968 |
A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length
|
| lose_lbs.txt |
2779 |
There was a heavyset guy who had tried every diet in the world in an attempt
|
| lottery.txt |
270 |
A wife gets home, runs into the house, slams the door and says, "Honey, pack
|
| love1.txt |
2562 |
How do you know if you're in love, in lust, or really married?
|
| love2.txt |
6573 |
ORIGINS OF LOVE
|
| love_exc.txt |
3221 |
To My Dear Wife,
|
| love_forever.txt |
4501 |
From Joe Bob at the Drive In
|
| love_hate.txt |
1054 |
The more I think of you, the more I
|
| love_laws.txt |
736 |
Murphy's Laws of Love
|
| ls.txt |
1331 |
L's Bells - a contest by Focus Magazine
|
| macarena.txt |
667 |
Two men sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day were led down to
|
| maid.txt |
839 |
A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The
|
| mailman.txt |
1452 |
It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the
|
| maine.txt |
1397 |
Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the
|
| malefacts.txt |
2595 |
25 Facts For Women To Know About Men
|
| man_bashing.txt |
1252 |
What can a bird do that a man can't?
|
| man_woman.txt |
1650 |
Two new elements have been discovered...
|
| manage_bulb.txt |
1978 |
How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
|
| manager.txt |
1122 |
Three men, a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer are
|
| mansays.txt |
1676 |
Here is the woman's guide to what a man is really saying...
|
| marriage.txt |
1364 |
A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.
|
| marriage1.txt |
2547 |
Lighter Side of Marriage
|
| marriage2.txt |
1066 |
A priest and nun are on their way back home from a convention when their car
|
| marriage3.txt |
383 |
A miserably married guy decides he needs some companionship, so he goes to a
|
| marriage4.txt |
2309 |
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y"
|
| married.txt |
1193 |
Married Life... QUOTES
|
| marriedlife.txt |
4441 |
The following is from a 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for the High
|
| marriedsex.txt |
528 |
A man returned home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the curb with
|
| marriedyet.txt |
1440 |
25 Snappy Comebacks to the age old question "Why aren't you married yet?"
|
| mars_venus.txt |
4638 |
RECEIVED FROM AN ENGLISH PROFESSOR:
|
| matches.txt |
1334 |
The choir director selected the 6-year-old little boy with the sweetest face
|
| math1.txt |
3001 |
A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe
|
| math2.txt |
629 |
A 54-year-old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that
|
| mattel.txt |
449 |
"Other Toys Being Discontinued by Mattel"
|
| maxims.txt |
1210 |
MAXIM'S O' THE DAY:
|
| meaning.txt |
1439 |
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the
|
| meat.txt |
4656 |
"They're made out of meat."
|
| medicalprobs.txt |
5410 |
GROSS Medical Problems
|
| melrose.txt |
2567 |
ALL I EVER NEEDED TO KNOW I LEARNED AT MELROSE PLACE:
|
| men-dogs.txt |
3301 |
Why Dogs Are Better Than Men
|
| men1.txt |
3640 |
RITA RUDNER'S FACTS ABOUT MEN
|
| men2.txt |
815 |
A Few Thoughts About Men...
|
| men_are_like.txt |
1139 |
Men are like department stores:
|
| men_bash.txt |
459 |
What is the difference between pigs and men?
|
| men_vs_women.txt |
1214 |
1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
|
| menmean.txt |
4249 |
WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN -
|
| menu.txt |
693 |
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
|
| mercy.txt |
1694 |
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway in Nevada when he notices
|
| messages.txt |
1497 |
Actual Phone Answering Machine Messages
|
| metaphor.txt |
2472 |
BATTLE OF THE METAPHORS
|
| mexican.txt |
2070 |
What do you call a Mexican vasectomy?
|
| micro_cars.txt |
2756 |
If Microsoft Built Cars
|
| mikey.txt |
732 |
One day little Mikey comes home from kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his
|
| mil_specs.txt |
1758 |
HOW MIL SPECS LIVE FOREVER
|
| minnow.txt |
2045 |
There is a minnow swimming in a pond, who spots a worm. "Hmm," thinks the
|
| minorwisdom.txt |
1913 |
Minor Words Of Semi-Wisdom
|
| misc.txt |
1443 |
The factory of the future will have two employees, a man and a dog. The man
|
| mistress.txt |
721 |
Two guys were having a slow round of golf because the two ladies in front of
|
| mit.txt |
3744 |
MIT certainly has a reputation to be proud of, but its admissions department
|
| mixup.txt |
999 |
A guy is walking through China Town in New York. He is fascinated by all the
|
| models1.txt |
2773 |
I'd like to share with you these inspirational words from the great minds of
|
| models2.txt |
1245 |
The Top 16 Ways to Annoy a Supermodel
|
| moles.txt |
456 |
There was a mamma mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole
|
| mom.txt |
1279 |
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't
|
| mom_ew.txt |
944 |
One evening after work several guys were going out to have a drink and they
|
| money.txt |
1937 |
One day this rich guy was having a party at his house. He was loaded, and he
|
| monkey1.txt |
1220 |
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's
|
| monkey2.txt |
2601 |
I Like Monkeys
|
| moose.txt |
978 |
These two hunters went moose hunting every year without success. Finally they
|
| motel.txt |
2806 |
Phone Won't Stop Ringing?
|
| mother.txt |
1128 |
A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they
|
| moths.txt |
1064 |
The lovers passionately embraced on her bed, their bodies fused together as
|
| mottos.txt |
1316 |
REJECTED STATE MOTTOS
|
| movies.txt |
1772 |
12 interesting things that you learn about computers in the movies...
|
| ms_excel.txt |
1087 |
Fun and games with excel
|
| ms_gm.txt |
715 |
Bill Gates wanted to look good and impress everyone with his success. He
|
| ms_help.txt |
1204 |
A pilot is flying a small single engined charter plane, with a couple of
|
| ms_mythos.txt |
2268 |
And LO! The Lord of the OS did come down among His sheep and He did sayeth,
|
| ms_usa.txt |
2996 |
REDMOND, WA - Oct. 21, 1997 -- In direct response to accusations made by the
|
| msoft.txt |
4985 |
There was a knock on the door...
|
| mtb_slang.txt |
19698 |
Internet MTB Dictionary
|
| mudology.txt |
1789 |
Academy of Mudgeology
|
| murphy1.txt |
1112 |
1. The more confidential the memo, the more likely it will be left in the
|
| murphy2.txt |
4135 |
MURPHY'S LAWS ON WORK
|
| murphy_sex.txt |
3767 |
TWISTED IDIOMS
|
| musichistory.txt |
4129 |
These are stories and test questions accumulated by music teachers in the
|
| names.txt |
2169 |
Groaners for the morning blues:
|
| naming.txt |
608 |
MacGregor the Scotsman at the turn of the century was standing at the local pub
|
| nasty.txt |
144 |
Q. What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
|
| nastyturkey.txt |
604 |
Eleven things that sound politically incorrect at Thanskgiving, but aren't:
|
| navy.txt |
508 |
Actual radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations:
|
| needs.txt |
1639 |
A husband and wife were getting all snugly in bed. The passion was heating up,
|
| neighbor.txt |
1328 |
Neighbor 1: "Hi there, new neighbor. It sure is a mighty nice day to be
|
| nell.txt |
8721 |
** The Ballad of Eskimo Nell **
|
| nerdbait.txt |
1732 |
This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer.
|
| net.txt |
1065 |
The Top 10 Signs You're Addicted to the 'Net'
|
| netdork.txt |
4315 |
Subject: Hi! Please read me and dont ignore me!
|
| nethistory.txt |
5268 |
The History of The Net
|
| newbaby.txt |
1338 |
The Top 16 Changes Now That the Baby Has Arrived
|
| newbible.txt |
956 |
The top ten ways the Bible would have been different if it had been written by
|
| newborn.txt |
605 |
An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was
|
| newwords.txt |
1924 |
AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the
|
| nice.txt |
4702 |
Six minutes to six, said the clock over the information booth in New
|
| noexcuse.txt |
588 |
A man came home late one night.
|
| nofucking.txt |
1390 |
A man and his wife have been stranded on a deserted island for many years. One
|
| nolife.txt |
4606 |
How to determine if technology has taken over your life:
|
| nonequal.txt |
2709 |
BOYS AND GIRLS ARE BORN EQUAL BUT NOT THE SAME
|
| norights.txt |
3421 |
Bill of No Rights
|
| normism.txt |
3487 |
"Can I draw you a beer, Norm?"
|
| not_gifts.txt |
1256 |
Washington Post - Style Invitational Challenge for the week was to come up with
|
| not_rcmd.txt |
1052 |
To whom it may concern:
|
| not_said.txt |
1141 |
THE LAST 10 THINGS ANY WOMAN WOULD EVER SAY:
|
| notbooks1.txt |
1164 |
Top 20 children's books not recommended by the National Library Assoc.
|
| notbooks2.txt |
872 |
Children's books you will NOT see:
|
| notdirty.txt |
1440 |
Top ten things that sound dirty in golf but aren't:
|
| notmilk.txt |
382 |
A man walks into a tee shirt store. There are 3 shirts on display:
|
| nudist.txt |
720 |
A family of three, mom, dad and a 10-year-old girl, went down to Florida to
|
| nullwork.txt |
1381 |
The Top 14 Signs You Have Nothing to Do at Work
|
| numbers.txt |
1119 |
A numbers game
|
| nun1.txt |
1562 |
A nun gets into a cab in New York. She demurely says in a small, high voice,
|
| nun2.txt |
1171 |
At midnight one middle-aged man was waiting at a train station to cross the
|
| nun3.txt |
1380 |
It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath and young Sister Magdalene
|
| nun4.txt |
579 |
Cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
|
| nuts.txt |
1454 |
There was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a
|
| nuttyprof.txt |
5749 |
50 Fun Things for Professors to Do on the First Day of Class
|
| nympho.txt |
1331 |
A man walks onto an airplane and takes his seat. He looks up and notices the
|
| octopus.txt |
1120 |
A Guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says, "I bet $50 that no one
|
| oddmath.txt |
515 |
Mystery of Math
|
| oj_burn.txt |
702 |
A man is on his way home from work one afternoon in LA and he's stopped in
|
| oj_seuss.txt |
1209 |
The OJ trial as Told by Dr. Seuss
|
| old.txt |
1226 |
YOU KNOW YOU'RE OLD WHEN...
|
| olymgold.txt |
1694 |
The Top 20 Indications You Won't Win Olympic Gold
|
| olympics.txt |
4097 |
Live From NBC! Drum Roll, Please.
|
| one-liners.txt |
1198 |
Q: Who enjoys sex more, the man or the woman?
|
| online.txt |
4245 |
YOU KNOW YOU'RE TOO SERIOUS ABOUT COMPUTERS...
|
| oreos.txt |
484 |
TOP TEN REASONS OREOS ARE BETTER THAN MEN
|
| os_beer.txt |
4289 |
If Operating Systems Were Beers...
|
| out2getcha.txt |
1736 |
The Top 16 Signs Someone at Work is Out to Get You
|
| overtake.txt |
990 |
A man was riding his bike in the English countryside, cruising past severl
|
| owngramp.txt |
1035 |
Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversation. After a while one of them
|
| oxymoron.txt |
1030 |
Top 47 OXYMORONS:
|
| packwood.txt |
489 |
Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich, and Bob Packwood are traveling in a car together in
|
| pain.txt |
1526 |
Three men were sitting around the fire, drinking beer and telling stories.
|
| panda.txt |
551 |
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the
|
| pants.txt |
2951 |
OWATONNA, Minn (AP)
|
| para_men.txt |
952 |
The Paradoxes of Men
|
| parents_learn.txt |
2272 |
Parents Know...
|
| parks.txt |
1971 |
These are questions that people actually asked of Park Rangers around the
|
| parrot1.txt |
1427 |
There's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean
|
| parrot2.txt |
578 |
The scene is a New York City subway. Seated together - somewhat awkwardly -
|
| parrot3.txt |
1136 |
A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have
|
| part.txt |
1052 |
On a senior citizen bus tour, the driver was surprised. While the passengers
|
| parts.txt |
700 |
Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The
|
| party.txt |
2202 |
HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE THROWING A SUCCESSFUL PARTY
|
| pass.txt |
530 |
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some
|
| passing.txt |
429 |
A man jumps from an airplane and when he pulls his parachute cord, it breaks.
|
| pasteurized.txt |
436 |
A milkman was making his deliveries and found a note attached to a customer's
|
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779 |
Two drunks are driving down the highway drinking beer. All of a sudden they see
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