There's this drunk staggering down the street with his car keys in his hand. He
keeps staggering from one parked car to another until he is finally accosted by
a policeman...

COP: "What's the problem, buddy?"

DRUNK: "Someone stole my car! *hic*"

COP: "Where did you last see it?"

DRUNK: "It was right here on the END of my car key..."

COP: "Uh huh. Did you happen to notice your FLY IS OPEN?"

DRUNK: *Looking down at his fly* "Omigod occifer! SOMEONE STOLE MY GIRLFRIEND,
       TOO!"