I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison
control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her
little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She
calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she
gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her
that she better bring her daughter in to the ER right away.
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Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the field decided to steal a
life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the
plant and home. When they took it for a float on the Stilliguamish River, they
were quite surprised by a coast guard helicopter homing in on the emergency
locator that is activated when the raft is inflated. They are no longer
employed there.
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A police officer had a perfect hiding place for watching for speeders. But one
day, everyone was under the speed limit, the officer found the problem: a 10-
year-old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign
which said "RADAR TRAP AHEAD." A little more investigative work led the officer
to the boy's accomplice, another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with
a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket at his feet, full of change.
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A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out
for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the
room, under the carpet, was a bump. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for
one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and
flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said,
handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the hallway." "Now," she
said, "if only I could find my parakeet."