The Top 16 Signs Someone at Work is Out to Get You

16> The Human Resources rep keeps advising you to apply for extra dismemberment
    insurance.
15> The guy from shipping says they have to store some toxic waste in your
    office for "just a couple days." Your company, however, makes doilies.
14> Someone's been signing you up for the office blood drive. Daily.
13> Everyone else gets e-mail. You get "note-wrapped-around-a-brick-speeding-
    at-your-head-mail."
12> That "one free pantsdrop" rule is just one way of looking at the Paula
    Jones case - not a new law, like Larry said.
11> New job position posted: "Vice-President of My Butt." Only applicant: You
10> Co-workers point and whisper that you're the one who ate the "Bagel O'
    Death."
9> Somebody went to the trouble of making a little Hitler mustache and swastika
   armband for your Dilbert doll.
8> You're honored to be in the "South Park" skit at the office party, but why
   does everyone insist you play "Kenny"?
7> The sign on your office door, "Section Head, Information Technology,
   Hardware Engineering And Design", has been replaced with an acronym.
6> The pushy new Pastry Cart man looks an awful lot like that Kevorkian guy.
5> Your position's symbol on the organizational chart now shows up as a hanging
   stick figure.
4> During your diversity training, someone announces on the intercom that "the
   cleaners are here with your Grand Wizard outfit."
3> Your name is spelled out in urinal cakes in the men's room trough.
2> Oh, come on. It's not like your new Windows 98 operating system just keeps
   crashing by itself!

and the Number 1 Sign Someone at Work is Out to Get You...

1> "Shit piling up on your desk" no longer just an expression.