A lady says to her doctor, "My husband has been complaining that my vagina has
 an odor, but I bent over and took a whiff, and I don't smell anything."
 The doctor examines her, and then says, "You need an operation."
 She says, "On my vagina?"
 He says, "No, on your nose."
 
 Dirty Johnny's parents get divorced.
 One night, Johnny walks past his mother's bedroom door. The door is open, and
 he sees his mother lying on her back, playing with herslf, saying, "I need a
 man... I need a man..."
 A few nights later, he walks past her bedroom. The door is open, and he sees a
 man on top of her.
 He runs into his room, jumps on his bed, pulls down his pants, and starts
 playing with himself, saying, "I need a bike... I need a bike..."
 
 A guy's walking down the street and sees Dirty Johnny smoking a cigarette.
 He says, "Kid, you're too young to smoke."
 Johnny looks up and doesn't say anything.
 The guy says, "How old are you?"
 Johnny says, "Six."
 The guy says, "Six? When did you start smoking?"
 Johnny says, "Right after the first time I got laid."
 The guy says, "Right after the first time you got laid? When was that?"
 Johnny says, "I don't remember; I was drunk." 
 
 A Jewish girl comes home and says, "Ma, I got married."
 Her mother says, "Oy, that's great."
 She says, "But, Ma, he's an Arab."
 Her mother says, "Oy, that's not so great."
 She says, "But, Ma, he's an Arab sheik. He's wealthy beyond your wildest
 dreams. You and Daddy are going to live in the lap of luxury for the rest of
 your lives."
 Six months later, she walks in the house and says, "Ma, I love my Arab sheik,
 but my God, all he wants to do is boff me in my ass. Day and night, all he'll
 do is bang me in my ass. When I got married, my asshole was the size of a
 dime... Now, it's the size of a silver dollar."
 Her mother says, "So for ninety cents you're going to make trouble?"
 
 A guy from the deep south comes to New York and he's amazed by the indoor
 plumbing. He's so intrigued by the way the toilets work that he goes to the
 Sewage Disposal Plant to check it out.
 One of the inspectors shows him to the conveyor belt that carries all the
 bowel movements.
 As the piles of shit parade by them, the inspector says, "You can tell by
 inspection who the assorted feces belong to. See that one? I'm sure it's the
 turd of a Mexican. See the pieces of taco shell, and the tomato seeds? And
 this next one is obviously the turd of a Chinaman or a Jap... See the fish
 eyes and the rice in it? And this next one is surely from a queer."
 The hick says, "How can you tell?"
 The inspector says, "It's dented on one end."