MEN & WOMEN - GENDER-BIASED QUOTES

 "Men get laid, but women get screwed." -Quentin Crisp (English writer)
 "When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman
  already knows." -Frederick Ryder
 "Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place." -Billy Crystal
 "I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. 'Please, I'll only put it in
  for a minute.' What am I? A microwave?" -Berverly Mickins (American
  comedienne)
 "Do you know why God withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may
  love you instead of laugh at you." -Mrs. Patrick Campbell (English actress)
 "Eventually, all men come out of the bathroom dressed as a majorette."
  -Ernestyne White
 "A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times;
  her intelligence, eight times." -Sanskrit proverb 
 "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think
  there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I
  know what I'm doing; just show me somebody naked.'" -Jerry Seinfeld
 "We got new advice as to what motivated man to walk upright: to free his hands
  for masturbation." -Jane Wagner
 "MARCH ISN'T THE ONLY THING THAT'S IN LIKE A LION, OUT LIKE A LAMB."
  -Anonymous
 "You know why God is a man? Because if God was a woman she would have made
  sperm taste like chocolate." -Carrie Snow
 "Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the last." -Remy
  de Gourmant (French writer)
 "A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers
  after four kisses" -H. L. Mencken (American writer, 1888-1956)
 "When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold
  off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment" -Warren Farrell
  (American psychologist)
 "Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her
  think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it."
  -Lyndon B. Johnson
 "Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make
  thousands miserable?" -Carrie Snow