Next time one of those pushy telemarketing people calls, try one of these
 responses:

 10. I'm sorry, sir, but I'm completely filled with fruit and cheese.
 9. OK, I'll take it on the condition that, right now, you bark like a dog for
    three minutes straight.
 8. I can't make that kind of decision now; I'm on my deathbed. (cough, cough)
 7. When you send that registration form to me, do I fill it out in pen, or is
    human blood OK?
 6. I'm too fucking drunk to decide. (vomit noises)
 5. Grandpa? Grandpa, is that you?... But... but... you've been dead for 15
    years!
 4. (Japanese accent) Sorry, I'm not very interesting.
 3. Really, ma'am, this is not a good time. I'm cold and naked with a plastic
    bag over my head.
 2. Now will this protection you're offering cover all the children I keep
    locked up in the basement?
 1. No, sir, you will not solicipitate me!!!