To:   <Child's name>  _________________
Cc:   <Parent's name> _________________
From: Tooth Fairy, The
Re:   Standardized Tooth Collection Form

Thank you for leaving [  ] tooth/teeth under your pillow last night. Your
request to redeem your lost tooth has been looked into. While we make every
attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of lost or stolen children's
teeth, we were unable to process your request for the following reason(s)
indicated below:

[ ] The tooth could not be found.
[ ] It was not a human tooth.
[ ] We do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny.
[ ] We were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odor.
[ ] This tooth has previously been redeemed for cash.
[ ] You may not redeem your little brother's/sister's tooth.
[ ] The "fingernail fairy" does not exist!
[ ] Your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy for appropriate
    action.
[ ] We have evidence on record that you've stated that you do not believe in
    the tooth fairy.
[ ] Age 11 and under only, please.
[ ] Loose teeth cannot be claimed until they come completely out.
[ ] The snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not satisfactory, or were
    missing.
[ ] We discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:
[ ] string
[ ] pliers
[ ] gunpowder
[ ] hammer/chisel marks
[ ] no dental care
[ ] Other:

Instead of the usual cash redemption, we have provided the following
certificate which you may attempt to exchange at a retail store near you.
Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in the future.

Sincerely,
The Tooth Fairy