MASTURBATION AIDS:

Cotton or acrylic socks ------------------- GOOD
Wool socks -------------------------------- BAD

Vegetable or food grade mineral oils ------ GOOD
Petroleum distillates --------------------- BAD

His sister's silk underwear --------------- GOOD
His mom's leather push-up bra ------------- BAD

Butter ------------------------------------ GOOD
Shortening -----------(are you nuts?)------ BAD

Glycerine --------------------------------- GOOD
Nitro-Glycerine --------------------------- BAD

Baby Oil ---------------------------------- GOOD
Baby diapers ------------------------------ BAD

Peanut Oil -------------------------------- GOOD
Peanut Butter ----------------------------- BAD

Lamb's Wool ------------------------------- GOOD
Steel Wool -------------------------------- BAD

Aloe Vera --------------------------------- GOOD
Alum -------------------------------------- VERY GOOD

Castor oil -------------------------------- GOOD
Castrol GTX ------------------------------- GOOD
Castro -------------------------------------VERY BAD

Silk -------------------------------------- GOOD
Slik 50 ----------------------------------- BAD

Hand -------------------------------------- GOOD
Sand -------------------------------------- BAD

Lubriderm --------------------------------- GOOD
Pachyderm --------------------------------- BAD
 
Coppertone -------------------------------- GOOD
Copper Sulfate ---------------------------- BAD
 
Powdered Graphite  ------------------------ GOOD
Graphite Fibers --------------------------- BAD

Teflon ------------------------------------ GOOD
Epoxy ------------------------------------- BAD

Olive Oil --------------------------------- GOOD
Olive Oyl --------------------------------- VERY BAD