How many members of your sign does it take to change a light bulb? Aries: Just one. You want to make something of it? Taurus: One, but just "try" to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away. Gemini: Two, but the job never gets done. They just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done! Cancer: Just one, but it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process. Leo: Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo to do the job for them while they're out. Virgo: Approximately 1.0000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth. Libra: Er, two. Or maybe one. No, on second thought, make that two. Is that okay with you? Scorpio: That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order. Sagittarius: The sun is shining, the day is young and we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid light bulb? Capricorn: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes. Aquarius: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so... Pisces: Lightbulb? What lightbulb?