Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loves to charge around the
nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on
the long corridors. Because the poor woman is a sandwich short of a picnic, the
other residents tolerate her, and some actually join in.

One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and a man
stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!" he said in a firm voice. "Have
you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag on her
lap and pulled out a Kit-Kat wrapper which she held up to him. "OK," he said
and she went on her way.

Taking the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, another man stepped out in
front of her and shouted, "STOP! Have you got a valid tax disc for your vehicle
madam?" Ethel dug into her handbag again and pulled out a beer-mat which she
held up to him and he allowed her to carry on.

Going down the final corridor before the front door, a third man stepped out in
front of her. This one was stark naked and was holding a sizable erection in
his hand. "Oh, no," said Ethel, "Not the breathalyzer again!"