MEMO TO ALL EMPLOYEES
RE: NEW SICK LEAVE POLICY

1. SICKNESS
No excuse. We no longer accept doctor's statements as proof of illness, as we
believe that if you're well enough to get to some doctor's office, you're well
enough to get to YOUR office!

2. OPERATIONS
Not allowed. We discourage any thoughts you may have about needing some foolish
operation. As long as you are employed here, you need all of everything you've
got and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are
now. To have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained
for.

3. RESTROOM PRIVILEGES
Still okay, but too much time is being spent in the restroom. Beginning
immediately, we will all go to the restroom in alphabetical order. Those whose
names begin with "A" will go from 8:00 a.m. to 8:05 a.m., "B" will go from 8:05
to 8:10 a.m., etc. If you miss your assigned time, just wait until tomorrow.

4. DEATH
Acceptable excuse, but please give two weeks notice, so you can train someone
to do your job.