The Top 16 Ways to Annoy a Supermodel
 
 16> Repeatedly ask, "What was your last name again?"
 
 15> Ask her if she's going to finish that lettuce leaf.
 
 14> Every week, adjust her scale to add an additional pound or two.
     (Wait - that's the way to *kill* a supermodel.)
 
 13> Consistently baffle her with multisyllabic words and compound sentences.
 
 12> Force her to share a runway with a 747.
 
 11> Whoopie Cushion Shoulder Pads.
 
 10> Taunt her with the Pythagorean Theorem and a slice of pizza.
 
  9> Follow her everywhere, mumbling, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."
 
  8> Make her wear that loose-fitting size 2 outfit.
 
  7> Secretly replace her methamphetamines with new "Folgers Crystals
     Methamphetamines."
 
  6> Move fashion meccas from New York, Paris, and Milan to Newark,
     Vladivastok, and Anchorage.
 
  5> Constantly demand a display of her Superhuman powers.
 
  4> Tell her that global-warming will eventually lead to the erosion of
     collagen.
 
  3> Before fixing dinner, ask her if she'd rather throw up meatloaf or throw
     up spaghetti.
 
  2> Keep asking, "Are you the one who's married to Billy Joel?"
 
  and the Number 1 Way to Annoy a Supermodel...
 
  1> Two words: CK wedgies.