Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
 
 Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
 
 Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
 
 Wear your pants backwards.
 
 Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints
 by the cash register.
 
 Begin all your sentences with "Ooh la la!"
 
 Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine
 Music".
 
 Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode.
 
 ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
 
 only type in lowercase.
 
 dont use any punctuation either
 
 Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
 
 Pay for your dinner with pennies.
 
 Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
 
 Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
 
 Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
 
 Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assasination/UFO/OJ Simpson
 conspiracy theories.
 
 Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?"
 "Never mind, it's gone now."
 
 Light road flares on a birthday cake.
 
 Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
 
 Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
 
 Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
 
 At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
 
 When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman Smells" until physically
 restrained.
 
 Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
 
 As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
 
 Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
 
 Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
 
 Sing the "This is the song that never ends..." song.
 
 Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
 
 Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin.
 When nearly done, announce "No, wait. I messed it up," and repeat.
 
 Drive half a block.
 
 Name your dog "Dog".
 
 Name your cat "Dog".
 
 Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
 
 Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the
 tray.
 
 Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.
 
 Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't
 want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
 
 Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as
 "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar", or the Mr. Roger's theme song.
 
 While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
 
 Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
 
 Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
 
 Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the
 phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each
 A.
 
 Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they
 slow down.
 
 Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
 
 Wear a LOT of cologne.
 
 Ask to "interface" with someone.
 
 Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is
 necessary because of your "superior mental processing".
 
 Sing along at the opera.
 
 Mow your lawn with scissors.
 
 At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!"
 
 Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
 
 Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
 
 Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a
 notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".
 
 Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."
 
 Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture".
 
 Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
 
 Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
 
 Never make eye contact.
 
 Never break eye contact.
 
 Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
 
 Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" people with it, announcing
 the results.
 
 Make appointments for the 31st of September.
 
 Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
 
 Send fifty copies of this list to everyone you know.