THE TOP 25 THINGS THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT IF BILL GATES WERE A REDNECK

1.  Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders

2.  Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle

3.  Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a hefty bag

4.  Dialogue boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw"

5.  Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos

6.  The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse

7.  Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk
    redneck yelling "Freebird!"

8.  Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be Achy-Breaky
    Heart

9.  PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"

10. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul C++"

11. Winders 95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag

12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word

13. Instead of latte carts we'd have grits carts

14. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now, Yah hear?!"

15. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"

16. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am

17. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse

18. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver

19. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire

20. Spreadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your
    front yard

21. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator

22. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates

23. Instead of asking "Where do you want to go today?", it's more like "Hey,
    mister, can I ketch a ride in the back?"

24. Free eraser to erase the scribble marks off the screen when using the
    NotePad.

... and the 25th thing that would have been different ...

25. That Wacky Deliverance Wallpaper!