The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles

  1) Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
  2) Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
  3) Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
  4) Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
  5) How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
  6) How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A
     Liar All My Life?
  7) I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
  8) I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
  9) I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
 10) I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
 11) I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart
 12) I Wanna Whip Your Cow
 13) I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
 14) I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
 15) I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
 16) I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
 17) I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
 18) I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
 19) If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
 20) If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
 21) If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
 22) If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will
 23) If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
 24) Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
 25) My Every Day Silver Is Plastic
 26) My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
 27) My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking
     My Heart
 28) Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But
     Baby I Can See Through You
 29) Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
 30) She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
 31) She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
 32) She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
 33) She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
 34) They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
 35) Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
 36) When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
 37) You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
 38) You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life