100 reasons it's great to be a gay guy

 1. Phone conversations are never over in 30 seconds flat.
 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female (More time for reading the
    Advocate).
 3. You know stuff about tanks (tank-tops, that is).
 4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase per day.
 5. Monday Nite Football - no confused "straight" guys in the clubs.
 6. You have to monitor your friends' sex lives.
 7. The Women's bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
 8. You can open all your own jars.
 9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight, because
    they know they're older than you and can't pass judgement.
 10. Dry cleaners charge you less than women to clean your silk shirt.
 11. When clicking through the channel, it's OK to stall on every shot of
     someone crying.
 12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. Damn.
 13. All your orgasms are real.
 14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
 15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you. Damn.
 16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
 17. You don't understand why Stripes is funny.
 18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group, although it's not as
     much fun.
 19. Your last name stays put. Only when your boyfriend has a last name like
     Cianciaruso.
 20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade, especially since you didn't even spend
     the night.
 21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone
     secretly hates you.
 22. You can kill your own food.
 23. The garage is all yours. Pull out that mechanics costume!
 24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of bitchiness.
 25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment, but still cried the whole time.
 26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow (they already know).
 27. You never have to clean the toilet.
 28. You can be showered and ready in 100 minutes.
 29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation; it's already ruined.
 30. Wedding plans.
 31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, you can blackmail them.
 32. Underwear.
 33. The National College Cheerleading Championship.
 34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
 35. You don't have to shave below your knees.
 36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite. Your tricks
     shave!
 37. If you're 34 and single, nobody notices.
 38. You can write your name in the snow.
 39. You can get into a non-trivial pissing contest.
 40. Everything on your face stays its original color.
 41. Chocolate.
 42. You can't be president.
 43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
 44. Flowers fix everything.
 45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
 46. You get to think about sex 99% of your waking hours.
 47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
 48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough for one night.
 49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
 50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
 51. Foreplay is optional.
 52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
 53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
 54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
 55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
     Only for the movers and UPS guy.
 56. You never feel compelled to stop a "girlfriend" from getting laid.
 57. Car mechanics.
 58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new bad haircut.
 59. You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours.
 60. The world is your urinal.
 61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to
     leave you.
 62. You get to jump up and snap your fingers.
 63. Hot wax.
 64. One mood, all the time. Bitchy.
 65. You can admire Clint Eastwood.
 66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too
     skeevy.
 67. You know at least 20 ways to lick a beer bottle.
 68. You can sit with your knees apart.
 69. Same work.... more pay.
 70. Gray hair and wrinkles... Never!
 71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
 72. Wedding Dress $2,000; Tux rental $100. Damn.
 73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back. You know
     about their sex life!
 74  Sperm.
 75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
 76. If you retain water, it's only for a few days.
 77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
 78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. Damn.
 79. ESPN's sports center.
 80. People drop by and bring a little gift.
 81. Bachelor parties whomp ass.
 82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
 83. You can get condoms in a bar for free.
 84. "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
 85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he will get the hint.
 86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man. Never...
 87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*#k it!"
 88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you can start a
     cat fight .
 89. Princess Di.
 90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected after sex.
 91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the
     mood.
 92. You think the idea of punting is funny.
 93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and
     throw it across the room.
 94. New shoes.
 95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
 96. Birthdays and anniversaries.
 97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
 98. Your friends can be trusted.
 99. Ellen.
 100. There is always a gayme on somewhere.