Pinocchio got a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they had sex. So Pinocchio went to see if Gepetto could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio happily bouncing through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"