Tarzan had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 30 years with only apes
for company, and suitably shaped holes in trees for sex.
 
Jane, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure.  Deep in
the wilds she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting into
a jungle oak.  She watched in awe for a while. Finally, overcome by this
display of animal passion, Jane came out into the open and offered herself to
him. First she disrobed provocatively, then she reclined on the wild grass,
spreading her legs in an obvious invitation.

Tarzan walked up to her and gave her a big kick in the crotch. In excruciating
pain she screamed, "What the hell did you do that for?"

Tarzan replied, "Always check for squirrels."