Men are like department stores:
  their clothes should always be half off.
 Men are like vacations:
  they never seem to be long enough.
 Men are like computers:
  hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
 Men are like coolers:
  load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
 Men are like chocolate bars:
  sweet, smooth, and they usually head straight for your hips.
 Men are like coffee:
  the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
 Men are like horoscopes:
  they always tell you what to do and they are usually wrong.
 Men are like plungers:
  they spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.
 Men are like cement:
  after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.
 Men are like snowstorms:
  you never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it
  will last.
 How are men and parking spots alike?
  The good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
 Why is it hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good
 looking:
  Because those men already have boyfriends.
 Why can't men get mad cow disease?
  Because they're all pigs.