A drunk gets on a train and stumbles down the aisle looking for a seat. He
 spots a woman holding a baby, and is about to sit down across the aisle when
 he says to the woman, "Lady, that is gotta be the ugliest baby I have ever
 seen."

 She demands, "WHAT?!" and the drunk replies, "I SAID... that is the ugliest
 baby I have ever seen."

 The woman is furious and pulls the emergency cord. The train screeches to a
 halt with a conductor racing through the car to find the problem. The woman,
 still furious, says to the conductor, "This man has just insulted me. I will
 not stand for that kind of behavior on the train."

 The conductor says, "Ma'am, I am really sorry if you have been offended. It is
 not the policy of the railroad to permit one passenger to offend another. I'll
 tell you what... We will find this gentleman a seat in another car... AND if
 you will go to the dining car, we will treat you to dinner, on us. AND just to
 show you that our heart is in the right place, I will personally see if we can
 find a banana for your monkey."