MIKE TYSON'S EXCUSES FOR THE FIGHT

1) Evander hit him so hard that for a minute he thought he was fighting Robin
   Givens.
2) Mistook Holyfield's ear for a sausage.
3) He was trying to whisper in his ear, but the bastard kept moving.
4) He misunderstood when his manager yelled "Fight him!"
5) Don King's hair reminded him of cotton candy, and made him really hungry.
6) Decided to give new meaning to the phrase "Chew you up, and spit you out."
7) Figured that doing what Lorena Bobbitt did would be considered hitting below
   the belt.