There was this construction worker, Steve, on the 3rd floor of this unfinished
 building. Steve needed a hand saw but was too lazy to go down and get it
 himself. So he tried to call to his fellow worker, Joe, on the ground to get
 it for him, but Joe could not hear a word he said. So Steve started to give a
 sign to Joe so that Joe could understand him.
 
 So first Steve pointed to his eyes (meaning "I"), then pointed at his knees
 (meaning "need"), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of
 a hand saw. Finally, Joe started shaking his head like he understood and
 dropped his pants and started to jack off.
 
 Steve got pissed and ran down to the ground and started yelling at Joe, "You
 idiot, I was trying to say, 'I need a hand saw!'" Joe replied, "I know. I was
 trying to tell you that 'I'm coming...'"
 
 * * * * * * * *
 
 One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on
 the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says, "I'm
 sorry, honey. I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay
 fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes
 later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in
 her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow, too?"
 
 * * * * * * * *
 
 These three women were sitting around one night talking about their boyfriends
 when they decided they would give their men nicknames based on kinds of soda.
 The first woman said, "I'm gonna call Tom "Mountain Dew" because he is as
 strong as a mountain and always wants to do it!"
 The second woman said, "I'm gonna call Bruce "7-Up" because he has seven
 inches and it is always up!"
 The third woman said, "I'm gonna call my man "Jack Daniels."
 The other two women responded, "Jack Daniels? But that's a hard liquor."
 The third woman replied, "THAT'S MY LEROY!"