THE LAST 10 THINGS ANY WOMAN WOULD EVER SAY:

10. Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of just being friends.

 9. Go ahead and leave the seat up; it's easier for me.

 8. I think hairy butts are really sexy.

 7. Hey, get a whiff of that one.

 6. Please don't throw that old T-shirt away; the holes in the armpit are just
    too cute.

 5. This diamond is way too big.

 4. I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.

 3. Wow, it really is 14 inches!

 2. Does this make my butt look too small?

 1. I'm wrong; you must be right again.

THE LAST 10 THINGS ANY MAN WOULD EVER SAY:

10. I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.

 9. While I'm up, can I get you a beer?

 8. I think hairy butts are really sexy.

 7. Her tits are just too big.

 6. Sometimes I just want to be held.

 5. That chick on "Murder, She Wrote" gives me a woody.

 4. Sure I'd love to wear a condom.

 3. We haven't been to the mall for ages. Let's go shopping and I can hold your
    purse.

 2. Fuck Monday Night Football. Let's watch "Murphy Brown."

 1. I think we're lost. We better pull over and ask for directions.