If restaurants functioned like software companies...

Patron: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be
        the problem?

Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again. Maybe the fly won't be there this time.

Patron: No, it's still there.

Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork
        instead.

Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you
        using?

Patron: A SOUP bowl!

Waiter: Hmmm... That should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem. How was
        the bowl set up?

Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in
        my soup?

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your
        soup?

Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.

Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Patron: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup hasn't been released yet.

Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now I'll eat anything.

Waiter leaves.

Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!

The check:
Soup of the Day ..................... $5.0
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day .... $2.5
Access to support ................... $1.0