Once there was a hillbilly boy who, after getting his G.E.D. (high school
equivalency diploma), went to work for his father in the family business of
Rust-Collecting. One day he met a hillbilly girl and they hit it off and
started dating. They enjoyed each other's company, and both liked the same
things, like Cow-Tipping and Beater-Car-Smashing. Eventually, they decided to
marry.

After the ceremony, the boy was really looking forward to the wedding night,
and to show how big a deal this marriage was, he took his new bride to an
actual, money-paying Motel.  When they arrived, his wife went into the bathroom
to change, while he was getting ready himself. She came out of the bathroom
dressed in her sexiest burlap, and the boy grabbed her and tossed her on the
bed. "Be gentle with me," she said,"I'm a virgin."

The boy immediately flew into a rage, got dressed, grabbed the girl and threw
her into the back of his pickup truck.  He screeched to a stop in front of her
parents' house, threw her out, and burned rubber outta there.  He drove to his
Dad's house and told him the whole story through eyes filled with tears. His
Dad comforted him and said, "You did the right thing, son.  Don't feel bad. A
VIRGIN?! Well, if she wasn't good enough for HER family, she sure isn't good
enough for OURS!!!"