Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold
tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do orientals throw hamburgers?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why is it you have a pair of pants and only one bra?

Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is
expanding, what is it expanding into?

If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi
driver end up owing you money?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other
trees make fun of it?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds
like a near hit to me!

Do fish get cramps after eating?

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosylabic"?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of
everything outdoors?

Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not
adoor?

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when
someone threw a gun at him?

Do infants have as much fun in their infancy as adults do in adultery?

If "con" is the opposite of "pro", then what is the opposite of progress?

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid
contains real lemons?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Is the main reason Santa is so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls
live?

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?

Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help
section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still
working?

Isn't Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?

Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?

Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?