A miserably married guy decides he needs some companionship, so he goes to a
 Pet Store.
 The salesman says, "I have a great pet for you. A toothless hamster."
 The guy says, "Nah."
 The salesman says, "But it gives great head."
 The guy takes it home.
 His wife screams, "What the hell is that thing?"
 He says, "Never mind what it is. Teach it to cook and then get the fuck out."