An Englishman, an American and an Irishman are called upon to test a lie
detector. The Englishman says, "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer."
BUZZZZZ goes the lie detector. "OK," he says, "10 bottles." And the machine is
silent. The American says, "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers." BUZZZZZ goes the
lie detector. "Alright, 8 hamburgers." And the machine is silent. The Irishman
says, "I think..." BUZZZZZ goes the machine.

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What are the 10 best years of an Irishman's life? Third grade.

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Paddy and Mick were approaching a Londondery pub which had been destroyed by a
Protestant bomb only minutes before. As they passed, a head rolled out of the
smoldering ruins and across the pavement before them. Paddy stooped, picked it
up, and held it for Mick to see. "Shure now Mick, isn't this Sean Murphy?" "No,
Paddy, no, it couldn't be. It's an amazin' resemblance, but Murphy was taller
than that."

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Paddy was picked up on a rape charge. He was placed in a lineup with ten other
fellows and the accusing woman was escorted into the room. Paddy jumped forward
and screamed, "That's her! That's her! Oi'd recognize her anywhere!"
 
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What do you call two gay Irishmen? Morris Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmorris.