Why we should feel sorry for tech support people:

 A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
 The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows."
 The woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good
 point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is
 working fine."

 Tech Support: "OK Bob. Let's press the control and escape keys at the same
	       time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
	       Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."
 Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
 Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "What do you mean?"
 Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

 Overheard in a computer shop:
 Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please."
 Salesperson: "Certainly sir. We've got a large variety."
 Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"

 I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to
 the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to keep it.

 Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?"

 I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that start something
 like this:
 Customer: "Hi, is this the Internet?"

 Some people pay for their online services with checks made payable to "The
 Internet."

 Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?"
 Tech Support: "Yeah."
 Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"
 Tech Support: "Uhh... uh... uh... yeah."

 Tech Support: "All right... now double-click on the File Manager icon."
 Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows - because of the icons - I'm a
           Protestant, and I don't believe in icons."
 Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe it was
	       meant to..."
 Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in icons."
 Tech Support: "Well... why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a file
               cabinet... Is 'little picture' OK?"
 Customer: [click]

 Customer: "My computer crashed!"
 Tech Support: "It crashed?"
 Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."
 Tech Support: "All right. Hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."
 Customer: "No, it didn't crash - it crashed."
 Tech Support: "Huh?"
 Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed my
           spaceship and now it doesn't work."
 Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"
 Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"