Has anyone ever said to you, "You don't know Jack Schidt"?

 Well, here is the full story of Jack Schidt and his family.

 Jack Schidt is the only son of Awe Schidt, the fertilizer magnate who married
 Ohe Schidt, the proprietess of the Kneedeep Schidt Inn.

 Jack Schidt married Noe Schidt and they produced six children: Holy, their
 first born, who passed shortly after birth; then the twin sons, Deep and Dip;
 then the two daughters, Fulla and Giva, and the youngest son, Bull.

 Deep Schidt married Dumme Asse who thereby became Dumme Schidt. Dip Schidt
 married Lotta Bull, a liberated woman who kept both names and thereby became
 known as Lotta Bull-Schidt. Dip and Lotta had one son, Chicken.

 Fulla and Giva Schidt married the Happens brothers. The Schidt-Happens kids
 are Dawg, Byrd, and Cowe.

 Little Bull Schidt just married his second cousin, Pisa Schidt and they await
 the arrival of a new little Schidt.

 Now you can say that you know Jack Schidt.