The Top 9 Indications Your Family May be Dysfunctional 9. New bill to ban assault weapons specifically mentions your family. 8. Your vacations are planned through AA instead of AAA. 7. Your mother and your preteen sister always fighting over the last beer. 6. In the middle of family reunion, FBI cuts power to ranch. 5. Bikers next door always complaining about the noise. 4. Holidays usually celebrated by sniffing glue and kicking a toaster around the house. 3. Family discussions usually begin with, "Put the gun down." 2. Instead of saying grace before dinner, father reads a passage from Penthouse Forum. 1. Thanksgiving Dinner consists of Wild Turkey instead of roast turkey.