HOW TO HUNT ELEPHANTS ---
 
 MATHEMATICIANS hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that
 is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left. Experienced
 mathematicians will attempt to prove the existence of at least one unique
 elephant before proceeding to step 1 as a subordinate exercise. Professors of
 mathematics will prove the existence of at least one unique elephant and then
 leave the detection and capture of an actual elephant as an exercise for their
 graduate students.
 
 COMPUTER SCIENTISTS hunt elephants by exercising Algorithm A: 1. Go to Africa.
 2. Start at the Cape of Good Hope. 3. Work northward in an orderly manner,
 traversing the continent alternately east and west. 4. During each traverse
 pass, a. Catch each animal seen. b. Compare each animal caught to a known
 elephant. c. Stop when a match is detected.
 
 Experienced COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS modify Algorithm A by placing a known
 elephant in Cairo to ensure that the algorithm will terminate. Assembly
 language programmers prefer to execute Algorithm A on their hands and knees.
 
 ENGINEERS hunt elephants by going to Africa, catching gray animals at random,
 and stopping when any one of them weighs within plus or minus 15 percent of
 any previously observed elephant.
 
 ECONOMISTS don't hunt elephants, but they believe that if elephants are paid
 enough, they will hunt themselves.
 
 STATISTICIANS hunt the 1st animal they see N times and call it an elephant.
 
 CONSULTANTS don't hunt elephants, and many have never hunted anything at all,
 but they can be hired by the hour to advise those people who do. Operations
 research consultants can also measure the correlation of hat size and bullet
 color to the efficiency of elephant-hunting strategies, if someone else will
 only identify the elephants.
 
 POLITICIANS don't hunt elephants, but they will share the elephants you catch
 with the people who voted for them.
 
 LAWYERS don't hunt elephants, but they do follow the herds around arguing
 about who owns the droppings. Software lawyers will claim that they own an
 entire herd based on the look and feel of one dropping.
 
 VICE PRESIDENTS of engineering, research, and development try hard to hunt
 elephants, but their staffs are designed to prevent it. When the vice
 president does get to hunt elephants, the staff will try to ensure that all
 possible elephants are completely prehunted before the vice president sees
 them. If the vice president does see a nonprehunted elephant, the staff will
 (1) compliment the vice president's keen eyesight and (2) enlarge itself to
 prevent any recurrence.
 
 SENIOR MANAGERS set broad elephant-hunting policy based on the assumption that
 elephants are just like field mice, but with deeper voices.
 
 QUALITY ASSURANCE inspectors ignore the elephants and look for mistakes the
 other hunters made when they were packing the jeep.
 
 SALESPEOPLE don't hunt elephants but spend their time selling elephants they
 haven't caught, for delivery two days before the season opens. Software
 salespeople ship the first thing they catch and write up an invoice for an
 elephant. Hardware salespeople catch rabbits, paint them gray, and sell them
 as "Desktop Elephants."

 CUSTOMER SERVICE people don't hunt elephants, but when hunters call with a
 problem, assure the hunter that no other hunter has had this problem, and they
 should probably consult with the manufacturer of their elephant gun.
 
 RECEPTIONISTS don't hunt elephants, but they can transfer you a recorded
 elephant call.
 
 MANUFACTURING people are very good at hunting elephants, as long as the
 engineers identify the exact location of each elephant, and purchasing makes
 sure the elephant is where it is supposed to be when manufacturing needs it.
 They would be even better if everyone else would just get the hell out of
 Africa and let manufacturing do its work.
 
 PRESIDENTS don't hunt elephants anymore, but they can tell you stories of when
 the elephants were a lot bigger and stronger than they are now. They will also
 tell you stories of when they went hunting with the presidents of even larger
 companies, who couldn't shoot nearly as well.
 
 APPLIED MATHEMATICIANS do a Fourier transform of Africa, run it through an
 elephant filter, and un-transform, leaving only the elephants.
 
 OO PROGRAMMERS construct an elephant framework, instantiate an elephant, and
 tell it to hunt itself. (If more than one programmer is involved, there are
 arguments over whether the result should be an elephant, a pointer to an
 elephant, or a reference to an elephant, and who has to dispose of the
 carcass.)