See, This morning I was driving to work when a small furry multi-legged creature ran out in front of me on Old Hicklovinearpickinsnotspitten Road. I slammed on my brakes only to just miss the poor thing and drive off the road into a field of tiny little pickle looking things. My golf cart was stuck so I got out into the pickle-like field and started walking back towards the road. About three feet away from the road I found a fried meat product substitute patty concoction and it started talking to me. It told me that it was late for some type of job interview or something and needed a ride. I told it that I couldn't really help, but if it hung around with me for a bit I might be able to work something out. We were walking down the road where we came to some 511 hair place. The burger product substitute patty thing yelled at me and told be that it needed something from there. OK, I guess. So we went into the salon and immediately a lively young female approached the meat thing and asked what it needed. And she replied, "A bun? Gee, I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to leave now, we don't tolerate that language around here." At that time the burger product substitute thing took a deep breath and said, "Fine, I guess now I'll have to go shave my nipples and buy a new set of turkey basters." And they lived happily ever after.