Hubby: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Wife : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
       picture and the problem disappears.
Hubby: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Wife : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there
       be greater than this one?"
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Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
      lighten your bunden.
Boy : It's very kind of you, darling. But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well, that's because we aren't married yet.
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Son: Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my
     seat to a lady.
Mum: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
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Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the
                 night?"
Husband to Wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to Husband: "What?! At 2 a.m.?"
Husband to Wife: "Yes, we used night clubs."
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A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father
hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT
YOU A FORTUNE."
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Father to son after the exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his father."
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2 atoms are sitting at a bar. Suddenly one says to another, "I've just lost an
electron!" "Are you sure?" asks the other. "Yes" the first atom replies, "I'm
positive."
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Husband: You know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife:    I think he did; I've still got mine with me!
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Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son:    That's why I say she's no good!