Three men were using the urinals in a public restroom. The first man finished
relieving himself, zipped up, strolled to the sinks and proceeded to wash his
hands, using plenty of soap and water and doing a splendidly thorough job. As
he was drying his hands (with lots of paper towels), he loftily announced to no
one in particular, "At USC, I learned to be clean and sanitary." The man then
left the bathroom in a cloud of self-satisfaction.
 
The second gent zipped up, marched briskly to the sinks, and scrubbed his hands
with much less soap and water than the first man, doing a splendidly thorough
job nonetheless. As he was drying his hands (with only one paper towel), he
severely announced to no one in particular, "At UCLA, I learned to be clean and
sanitary, but I ALSO learned to be thrifty and environmentally conscious." He
then strode from the bathroom with a purposeful air.
 
The third man finished relieving himself, zipped up, and ambled past the sinks
to the door, muttering to himself, "At CAL, I learned not to pee on my hands."