If government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and liquor,
let's at least have a little truthfulness about the matter!

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could
         knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe ex-lovers are really
         dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story
         over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY
         THINK while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever
         happened to your pants (panties) anyway.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and
         see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't
	 remember).
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn
         on the forehead.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion you are tougher,
         handsomer, and smarter than some really, really huge biker guy named
	 "Big Al".