CLASSES FOR MEN Once again, the female staff will be offering courses to men of any marital status. Once again, class size is limited to 18 as course material may prove to be difficult. Course # Course Title ________________________________________________________ 101 Combatting Stupidity 102 You, Too, Can Do Housework 103 PMS - Learning When to Keep Your Mouth Shut 104 How to Fill an Ice Cube Tray 105 We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings For Christmas. GIVE US MONEY! 106 Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4 a.m. 107 Learning Laundry Techniques (formerly titled "Don't Wash My Silks") 108 Parenting - No It Doesn't End With Conception 109 Get a Life - Learn How to Cook 110 How Not to Act Like an Asshole When You Know You Are Obviously Wrong 111 Spelling - Even You Can Get it Right 112 Understanding Your Financial Incompetence 113 You, the Weaker Sex 114 Reasons to Give Flowers 115 How to Stay Awake After Sex 116 Why It Is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere But the Bathroom 117 Garbage - Getting It to the Curb 118 Sex 118A - You Really Can Fall Asleep Without It, If You Really Try Sex 118B - The Morning Dilemma: If It's "Awake", Take a Shower 119 The Weekend And Sports Are Not Synonymous 120 How to Put the Toilet Seat Down 121 How to Go Shopping With Your Mate And Not Get Lost 122 The Remote Control, Overcoming Your Dependency 123 Helpful Hints for Couch Potatoes 124 How Not to Act Younger Than Your Children 125 You Too Can be a Designated Driver 126 Honest, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson, Especially When You are Naked 127 Changing Your Underwear - It Really Works 128 The Attainable Goal - Omitting %(#&*@!) From Your Vocabulary 129 Fluffing the Blankets After Farting Is Not Necessary 130 Real Men Ask for Directions CLASSES FOR WOMEN: Once again, the male staff will be offering courses to women of all marital status. Please note, homework is mandatory. Course # Course Title ________________________________________________________ 201 Combatting the Impulse to Nag 202 You, Too, Can Change the Oil 203 PMS - Learning to Sleep Over at Mother's 204 How to Fill a Beer Mug 205 We Do Not Want Stationary for Christmas - PUT ON SLEAZY UNDERTHINGS 206 Understanding the Female Cause of Male Drunkenness 207 How to Do All Your Laundry in One Load And Have More Time to Watch Football 208 Parenting - Your Husband Gave You Children So You Could Have Someone Other Than Him to Boss Around 209 Get a Life - Learn to Kill Spiders Yourself 210 How Not to Sob Like a Sponge When Your Husband Is Right 211 Shopping - Doing It in Less Than 16 Hours 212 Balancing a Checkbook - Even You Can Get It Right 213 You, the Whining Sex 214 Reasons to Give _ _ _ _ _ _ _ S 215 How to Stay Awake During Sex 216 Why It Is Unacceptable to Talk About Placentas During Breakfast 217 How to Close the Garage Door 218 Sex 218A - You Can Use a Bed for More Than Just Sleep Sex 218B - It's OK to Do It Outside of the Bedroom 219 Payday and Shopping Are Not Synonymous 220 Living Without Power Windows - How to Turn a Crank 221 How to Go Fishing With Your Mate and Not Catch Pneumonia 222 Soap Operas, Overcoming Your Dependency 223 How to Stay Alive While Your Husband is Relaxing 224 How to Act Younger Than Your Mother 225 You Too Can Carry a Backpack 226 If You Want to Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your Mother 227 Putting On Something Sexy - Why It Won't Ruin Your Brain 228 The Attainable Goal - Catching a Ball Before It Stops Moving 229 Apologizing for Farting When You're On the Toilet Is NOT Necessary 230 Real Women Can Read Maps Other Available Courses: ________________________________________________________ 301 Female Friendship - Why Your Best Friends Are Not the Women Who Complain About You the Most 302 Honest, My Eyes Are Closed Because of the Passion I Feel 303 Appreciating the Artistic Talent of John Woo, John McTiernan, and James Cameron (formerly titled: "You Too Can Enjoy Action Movies") 304 DOOM as a Solution for PMS Problems 305 Why Baseball Cards, et al. Are Not Fair Targets for the Vaccum Cleaner 306 If You Don't Want an Excuse, Don't Demand an Explanation 307 Romanticism - the Whole Point of Caviar, Candles, and Conversation 308 Avoiding Double Standards - How Not to Get Upset When Your Man Treats You the Exact Same Way You Treat Him