I was busy writing some computer program for one of my classes and my roommate
asked me if he could use my coffee maker. I said, "sure." The next thing I
heard was, "Hey, where do you put the coffee?" I turned to see that he had
filled the filter basket with water and was (unsuccessfully) trying to keep the
water in the basket by plugging the hole at the bottom with his finger. He and
the floor were both covered with water.

I was at the airport checking in at the gate when the airport employee asked,
"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" I said, "If
it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly,
"That's why we ask."

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was
crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine, when she asked if
I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind people
when the light is red. She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people
doing DRIVING???"

At a goodbye lunch for an old and dear co-worker who is leaving the company due
to "rightsizing," our manager spoke up and said, "This is fun. We should have
lunch like this more often." Not another word was spoken. We just looked at
each other like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.

I worked with an Induhvidual who plugged her power strip back into itself and
for the life of her could not understand why her system would not turn on.

A friend had a brilliant idea for saving disk space. He thought if he put all
his Microsoft Word documents into a tiny font they'd take up less room. When he
told me I was with another friend. She thought it was a good idea, too.

Tech Support: "How much free space do you have on your hard drive?"
Induhvidual: "Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet, and she
              downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?"

Induhvidual: Now what do I do?
Tech Support: What is the prompt on the screen?
Induhvidual: It's asking for "Enter Your Last Name."
Tech Support: Okay, so type in your last name.
Induhvidual: How do you spell that?