Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road?

 Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road.  I repeat, the chicken
 did *not* cross the road.

 Oliver Stone: The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?"  But
 is rather, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in
 our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

 Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.  How many more
 chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

 Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road?  I mean, why doesn't anyone ever
 think to ask, "What the heck was this *chicken* doing walking around all over
 the place anyway?"

 Bill Gates: I have just released the new Microsoft Chicken 2000, which will
 not only cross roads, but it will lay eggs, file your important documents AND
 balance your checkbook.

 Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man.  The
 chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

 Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

 Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
 cross roads without having their motives called into question.

 Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.  Someone
 told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for
 us.

 Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road.  Who cares why?
 The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

 Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
 beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

 Ralph Waldo Emerson: The chicken did not cross the road - it transcended it.

 Ernest Hemingway: To die.  In the rain.

 Colonel Sanders: I missed one?

 Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in
 such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.

 Darwin #2: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

 The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
 "Thou shalt cross the road."  And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was
 much rejoicing.

 Buddha: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

 Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road?  Did he cross it with a toad?  Yes
 the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

 O.J. Simpson: It didn't.  I was playing golf with it at the time.

 Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
 justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on the chicken.