Q: What do you call a dead blond in a closet?
A: The 1984 Hide and Seek World Champion.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell... She's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? 
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for three and a half days?
A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.
Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.
Q: What's the difference between Elvis and smart blondes?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
Q: What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine?
A: She peed on her corn flakes.
Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on
   the overhead transparency?
A: She turned it over and used the other side.
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: She kept throwing out all the "W"s.
Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde that robbed a bank?
A: She tied up the safe and blew the guard.
Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Blondes screw in back seats, not in light bulbs, silly.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.
Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
A: The prostitute says "Aren't you done yet?"
   The nympho says "Are you done already?"
   The blonde says "Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
Q: Why do all blondes have a dimple in their chin and a flat forehead?
A: Finger on chin - I don't know. Hits forehead - Oh I get it!
Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons?
A: From dating blonde men.
Q: Why do Blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.
Q: What do you call a smart blond?
A: A golden retriever.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

 A blonde's response to the comment, "THINK about it!":
 "I don't have to think - I'm blonde!"

 What's the difference between a blonde and a Mercedes?
 Not everyone has been in a Mercedes before.

 What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
 The washing machine doesn't keep calling you after you dump your load in it.