The Perfect Day for Her:

08:15  Wakeup to hugs and kisses
08:30  Weigh in 5lbs lighter than yesterday
08:45  Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants
09:15  Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil
10:00  Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer
10:30  Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb out
12:00  Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
12:45  Notice ex-boyfriends wife, she has gained 30lbs
13:00  Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
15:00  Nap
16:00  3 dozens roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer
16:15  Light workout at club, followed by gentle massage
17:30  Pick out outfit for dinner, primp before the mirror
19:30  Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing
22:00  Hot shower (alone)
22:30  Make love
23:00  Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
23:15  Fall asleep in his big strong arms

The Perfect Day for Him:

06:00  Alarm
06:15  Blowjob
06:30  Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today
07:00  Breakfast, Filet mignon and eggs, toast and coffee
07:30  Limo arrives
07:45  Stoli Bloody Mary enroute to airport
08:15  DFW - Private G4 to Augusta, Georgia (Coffee, SI and WSJ)
09:30  Limo to Augusta National Golf Club
09:45  Front nine at Augusta (2 under)
11:45  Lunch, 2 dozen oysters on the half shell, 3 Heinekens
12:15  Blowjob
12:30  Back nine Augusta (4 under)
14:15  Limo back to airport (Bombay martini)
14:30  Private G4, Augusta to Nassau, Bahamas (nap)
15:15  Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female (topless) crew
16:30  Land World Record light tackle Marlin (1249 lbs)
17:00  G4 back to DFW, massage & hand job enroute by naked Kathy Ireland
18:45  Shit, shower and shave
19:00  Watch CNN newsflash: Clinton resigns, Hillary and Al Gore farm animal
       Video released and authenticated.
19:30  Dinner, Lobster appetizers, Dom Perigon (1963), 20 oz. New York Steak
21:00  Remy Martin and Cuban Partagas cigar
21:30  Sex with three women
23:00  Massage and Jacuzzi
23:45  Bed (alone)
23:50  12 second, 4 note fart, dog leaves the room
23:55  Sleep