The only thing that the IRS has not yet taxed is your penis. This is due to
 the fact that 40% of the time it is just hanging around unemployed, 20% of the
 time it is pissed off, 30% of the time it is hard up, and 10% of the time it's
 in a hole. On top of this, it has two dependents and both of them are nuts.

 Accordingly, starting January 1, 1996, your penis will be taxed according to
 its size. To determine your category, please consult the chart below and
 confirm this information on page 2 section 7, line 3 of your standard 1040
 from.

     *12-10 inches - Luxury Tax    $50.00
      10-8 inches  - Pole Tax      $30.00
      8-6 inches   - Privilege Tax $15.00
      6-3 inches   - Nuisance Tax  $05.00

 Please Note:
 (a) Anyone under 3 inches is eligible for a full refund.
 (b) Males exceeding 12 inches must file for Capital Gains.

 Please do not request for an extension.

 Sincerely,
 Pecker Checker, IRS
 Your Luxury Taxed Azam