Sports Quotes:

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
- Senior basketball player at the University of Penn, Wharton

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman
Einstein."
- Northwestern 'B-school' graduate, 1996

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
- Bill Peterson, Country Day (MI) high school football coach

"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of
academic requirements: "I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The
tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't
been through in school."

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King:
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three
years, not Princeton."

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color
photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my
name, I can still find my #%@# clothes."

Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to
Greece: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."

Shaquille O'Neal on his lack of championships: "I've won at every level, except
college and pro."

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight
Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless
of what time it is."

1992 - Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record:
"We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just
can't figure out where else to play."

1982 - Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to
Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a
baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

1981 - Tommy Lasorda , Dodger manager, when asked what terms Mexican-born
pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming
contract negotiations: "He wants Texas back."

1966 - Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked if the abnormal number of
Longhorn injuries that season resulted from poor physical conditioning: "One
player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose
in condition for football?"
 
1981 - Mike McCormack, coach of the hapless Baltimore Colts after the team's
co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled a hamstring running onto the
field for the coin toss against St. Louis: "I'm going to send the injured
reserve players out for the toss next time."

1991 - Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire
at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was
that 15 hadn't been colored yet."

1986 - Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss what he
thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating."

1991 - Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as opposed to
Sunday afternoons: "It's basically the same, just darker."

1996 - Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote: "I
was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot."

1991 - Jim Colletto, Purdue football coach and former assistant at Arizona
State and Ohio State, on his 11-year-old son's reaction after he took the job
with the Boilermakers: "He said, 'Gosh, Dad, that means we're not going to any
more bowl games.'"

1986 - LaVell Edwards, BYU football coach and one of 14 children: "They can't
fire me because my family buys too many tickets."

1991 - Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him,
'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't
know and I don't care."

1991 - Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

1987 - Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a
player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending
too much time on one subject."