The Top 12 Things You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support 12> "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?" 11> "...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it." 10> "So... what are you wearing?" 9> "Duuuuuude! Bummer!" 8> "Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n." 7> "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC." 6> "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery." 5> "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that." 4> "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect." 3> "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!" 2> "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics." and the Number 1 Thing You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support... 1> "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."