You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart
 woman with a dumb guy.
 - Erica Jong

 I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job.
 - Roseanne

 He tricked me into marrying him. He told me he was pregnant.
 - Carol Leifer

 I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
 - Wendy Liebman

 Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
 - Erma Bombeck

 If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them.
 - Sue Grafton

 I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
 - Roseanne

 I think - therefore I'm single.
 - Lizz Winstead

 When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another
 country.
 - Elayne Boosler

 I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
 - Gilda Radner

 Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
 - Maryon Pearson

 Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an
 assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as
 a male schlemiel.
 - Bella Abzug

 In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done,
 ask a woman.
 - Margaret Thatcher

 I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a
 career.
 - Gloria Steinem

 Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
 - Gloria Steinem

 Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they
 should live next door and just visit now and then.
 - Katharine Hepburn

 I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which
 answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning,
 a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.
 - Marie Corelli

 If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How
 intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?
 - Linda Ellerbee

 I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
 - Zsa Zsa Gabor