Married Life... QUOTES

 I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

 It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems
 longer.

 Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

 A man was complaining to a friend, "I had it all - money, a beautiful house, a
 big car, the love of a beautiful woman; then, Pow! it was all gone!"
 "What happened?" asked the friend.
 "My wife found out..."

 Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
 Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

 How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the
 time she brings it to the couch.

 Why do men usually die before their wives do? Because they want to!

 Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street fat and
 bald and still think they are beautiful!

 I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

 A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle.

 If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to
 lunch or to a movie?

 A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.