PICK-UP REBUTTAL HUMOR
 
 1) Man: "Haven't we met before?"
    Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."
 
 2) In the department "nice turn downs" there's this one:
    I'll have to think about that, thinking makes me tired, when I'm tired I
    want to sleep, not make love, so let's not, okay?
 
 3) Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
    Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
 
 4) Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."
    Woman: "No, thanks. There's already one asshole in there."
 
 5) The most memorable rebuttal to a turn down (used by the guy who used to
    live across the hall from me in residence) when he asked a girl to dance
    and she refused:
    Man: "Want to Dance?"
    Woman: "No, thank you."
    Man: "Don't thank me; thank God somebody asked you."
 
 6) Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
    Woman: "It's in the phone book."
    Man: "But I don't know your name."
    Woman: "That's in the phone book, too."
 
 7) Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
    Woman: "Female impersonator."
 
 8) Man: "You know, I'd really love to travel to exotic places with you."
    Woman: (tries to ignore him)
    Man: "You know what? I also love sex. What do you say to that?"
    Woman: "Hmmm... You really love sex and travel?"
    Man: (nods his head smiling)
    Woman: "Then go take a fuckin' hike!!!"
 
 9) I like the line I once heard in a movie. This guy was trying to pick up
    this girl, and she said to him, "Can you pound a rail-road spike through a
    2x4 with your hard-on?" To which he merely shudders a negative. She says,
    "Well, a girl's gotta have her standards."
 
 10) Man: "Voulez-vous vous coucher avec moi ce soir?"
          (Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?)
     Woman: "Je voudrais bien, mais je n'ai rien a porter."
            (I would love to, but I have nothing to wear.)
 
 11) Q: What sign were you born under?
     A: No Parking.
 
 12) A guy comes up to a girl and tells her some pick-up line. She grabs his
     crotch, looks down at it, looks back at him, and says, "Sorry, I don't see
     any potential here" and nonchalantly walks off.
 
 13) And here's one including the correct snappy return:
     Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
     Woman: "Unfertilized. Screw off!"
 
 14) After hearing a pick-up line:
     Woman: "I like your approach. Now let's see your departure."
 
 15) A girlfriend of mine once had a graying man in his 60's approach her in a
     club while she was in college with the line, "Where have you been all my
     life?" She took one glance at him and said, "For the first half of it, I
     probably wasn't born yet."
 
 16) A friend of mine came up with a very quick response over vacation. We were
     walking down the street and I glanced at a girl who had just walked by.
     She turned around and said to me, "What are you looking at?" My friend,
     walking next to me came to the rescue, "He thought you were good-looking,
     but he was mistaken."
 
 17) While at college, a few friends were discussing how their "passes" had
     been rejected by the intended female receiver. One of the ladies explained
     how she handled it once...
 
     When the guy, obviously getting irritated, blurted out something like,
     "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason!" She
     responded, "Yea, let's pick up come chicks!" He immediately blanched, and
     decided that maybe he would look someplace else.
 
 18) The attractive young woman was sitting at the bar, alone, when the lounge
     lizard made his move. "I'm here," he breathed huskily, "to fulfill your
     every sexual fantasy." The woman turned and looked at him. Her lips parted
     and she moistened them with the tip of her tongue. She leaned toward him
     with her hands on her thighs, and her eyes opened to the size of dinner
     plates. She paused just a second and then delivered the crusher line,
     "You've got a large donkey or Doberman?" The guy turned as green as his
     golf slacks and slipped away without a word.
 
 19) "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
 
 20) Man: "Hey baby, if you come home with me, I can show you a really good
	   time."
     Woman: "You know what your problem is? Your mouth is writing checks that
	     your body can't cash."