Technical Terminology --------------------- 486................. The average IQ needed to understand a PC. State-of-the-art.... Any computer you can't afford. Obsolete............ Any computer you own. Microsecond......... The time it takes for your State-of-the-art computer to become obsolete. Syntax Error........ "Hello, I want to buy a computer and money is no object." GUI ("gooey")....... What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. Computer Chip....... Any starchy foodstuff consumed in mass quantities while programming. Keyboard............ The standard way to generate computer errors. Mouse............... An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate. Floppy.............. The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer Hard Drive.......... The sales technique employed by most computer salesmen. Portable Computer... A device invented to force business people to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips. Disk Crash.......... A typical computer response to any critical deadline. Power User.......... Anyone who can format a disk from DOS. System update....... A quick method of trashing all of your current software.