Scandal in the Wind: Bill Clinton's alleged affair with a White House intern
means Al Gore "is now just an orgasm away from the presidency." (Jay Leno)

Scandal II: "Only Clinton could divert people's attention off a sex scandal
with another sex scandal." (Leno)

Scandal III: "You gotta feel sorry for Hillary. In fact, she's written a book,
'It Takes a Village To Keep an Eye on My Husband." (Leno)

Bill's Legacy: "Americans can be assured of one thing after this administration
leaves office - They won't rename any White House sleeping quarters the
'Clinton Bedroom.'" (Paul Ecker)

Clinton's New Bumper Sticker: "If you see Air Force On-a-rockin', don't bother
knockin'." (Zack Taylor)

"I feel sorry for this Monica Lewinsky. She was promised a lot of things, and
apparently she's just now realizing there's really no such official position as
"Ambassador of Love.'" (Jim Rosenberg)

"Things are getting weird at the White House. Reportedly, President Clinton has
asked to borrow a pair of Ted Kaczynski's underwear." (Karl Schweitzer - former
news reporter now fulltime Papa)

"The president's deposition in the Paula Jones case was tough. Asking Bill
Clinton to remember a specific episode of sex harassment is like asking Hank
Aaron to remember a specific home run." (Alan Ray)

"President Clinton gives his annual State of the Union address this week. He'll
reveal a new plan for cutting the cost of government. A lot of the work could
be done by interns." (Ray)

More Waterbed-gate: "White House intern Monica Lewinsky should've been
suspicious when Linda Tripp answered the phone with 'Testing? one, two, three,
testing.'" (Daily Scoop)

Clinton's Next Step: "Have you seen 'Wag the Dog?' If I were Albania, I'd be
real nervous right now." (Daily Scoop)